IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You were recently disrespected by one of the employees at your local supermarket. Write a letter to the supermarket manager. In your letter • tell why you were speaking with the employee • describe the employee's rude behavior • explain what you'd like the manager to do

#employees #supermarket #manager #employee #behavior
Dear Sir, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am writing
this
 letter to express my dissatisfaction with
behaviour
Add an article
the behaviour
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 of one of your staff members at
store
Add an article
the store
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 yesterday. His name is Rajesh Kumar and he works in
electronics
Add an article
the electronics
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 section. I asked him about
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 LG flatron
TV's
Change noun form
TV
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, which
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 launched
last
 month. I asked him about the specifications of LG's
televison
Correct your spelling
television
, but he did not bother to reply and when I asked him repeatedly, he started
yieling
Correct your spelling
yelling
on
Change preposition
at
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 me. He humiliated me publically by passing derogatory comments.
Moreover
, he was not bothered about the
store
 authorities and when I said, I
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 lodge a complaint against him to the
store
 manager, he started abusing me. I would like to urge you,
kindly
Fix the infinitive
to kindly
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 take
a
Remove the article
apply
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strict action against Mr. Rajesh Kumar, because with
such
 behaviour he is tarnishing
store's
Correct article usage
the store's
show examples
 image. I propose
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 you should ask him to apologise and make sure that he must not repeat
this
 ever in future. I hope you will look into the matter personally and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Jatinder.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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grammar
Remember to check for minor grammatical errors such as verb forms and articles. For instance, 'a LG' should be 'an LG' and 'televison's' should be 'television's'.
task response
Include a clearer statement about the specific action you'd like the manager to take. You've mentioned an apology and future behavior control, but a more detailed suggestion might enhance clarity.
structure
The letter includes a clear introduction, main body, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have addressed all aspects of the task, including reasons for speaking with the employee, description of the employee's behavior, and what you would like the manager to do.
tone
You have used polite and respectful language throughout, suitable for a formal letter.
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