IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given bar chart illustrates how many male and female played six different sports in English city during 2012.

The given bar chart illustrates how many male and female played six different sports in English city during 2012.
The given bar chart illustrates how many
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 played six different sports in English
city
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cities
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 during 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the bar chart is that China and USA headed the list of
electricity
Use synonyms
 production and consumption.
While
Linking Words
 France, Germany and Korea bottom
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 list.
In addition
Linking Words
, Russia came
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the list among the ten countries. Looking at details regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
China was the most country of
electricity
Use synonyms
 expenditure and production both were almost similar and accounted
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 5.322 and 5.398
KWH
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
turn.
While
Linking Words
 the second most country
utilize
Change the verb form
utilizes
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 and produce
electricity
Use synonyms
 was USA by 4.099 and 3.866
KWH
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Then
Linking Words
 in Russia and
Japan
Add a comma
,Japan
show examples
 they used and produced
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 moderately and it represented 1.057 and 1.038
KWH
Use synonyms
 for Russia and 935 and 877
KWH
Use synonyms
 for Japan annually.
Besides
Linking Words
, Korea was the least country of
electricity
Use synonyms
 generation and expenditure by 485 and 445
KWH
Use synonyms
 yearly.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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