With all the troubles in the world today, money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other things.

Nations after nations, every day, every year, celebrate their achievements in
space
exploration
.
However
, it is now time to question how meaningful these blasts are.
This
essay aims to explain why it is questionable.
First,
until all urgent and important matters in
this
globe have been solved,
money
bumped on
space
exploration
is of no meaning. It is not common sense at all to invest millions of dollars researching and producing foods for astronauts (for
space
exploration
purposes),
while
thousands of people are starving.
Furthermore
, the discovery of outer
space
only serves a minor group of people if the majority are even not well-educated. Those in rural areas or third-world nations do not even know how to prevent common threatening diseases like AIDS and lung cancer.
Then
, some may argue that the purpose of
space
exploration
is to discover new lands, and new energy resources or to deter potential threats to the globe.
Nevertheless
, is it effective to do so
while
other alternatives are available? Lands on earth are not yet effectively used. New energy resources (eg. solar and nuclear energy) have not yet been widely used. Threats of plagues have not yet been deterred. All these ?not-yets? need
money
.
That is
why costly
space
discovery programs are a waste of
money
. In a nutshell, people should only invest in
space
exploration
providing that() early-mentioned urgent and important matters have been solved.
Also
, the purposes of
space
exploration
campaigns should be studied carefully and other alternatives should be considered before the
money
is wasted.
Submitted by Kirandeepkaur on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in defining the structure of your argument. However, it will benefit from more clearly defined paragraphs that each focus on a single idea.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea you will discuss, followed by supporting sentences with examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure and transitions more effectively to enhance the flow of ideas and make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task directly, and you provided a balanced view by presenting counter-arguments. To improve your score, elaborate your main points with more specific examples and evidence supporting your claims.
task achievement
You could benefit from a deeper analysis of the topic by exploring not only the financial aspect of space exploration but also its potential benefits and long-term gains for humanity, thus providing a more comprehensive response.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • terrestrial issues
  • alleviate suffering
  • living standards
  • reallocate
  • long-term benefits
  • urgent social issues
  • practical applications
  • environmental monitoring
  • telecommunications
  • financial burden
  • public and private partnerships
  • social programs
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