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Band 6

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #age
There are some
people
 who think that the legal
age
 of marriage should be at least 21. Even though the
age
 of 21 is already come of
age
. It is agreed that
people
 should marry until they are 21.
People
 under 21 mostly do not have sustainable economic sources,
as well as
 a majority of
people
 have not graduated from
school
 at that
age
.
Firstly
,
people
 below the
age
 of 21 often lack stable economic resources.
For instance
, most of them haven’t accomplished their
school
 life. Because of classes in the daytime, they can only do the part-time job
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the semester or
in
Change preposition
during
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 the long vacation. The salary of the part-time job is too less to pay the expense of the family, like housing expenses and food and essential living expenses.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
people
 under 21 don’t prepare well for marriage.
Secondly
, most of the
people
 under 21 are still students. They have not experienced much stress coming from social life which is very different from
school
. In
school
, they would not receive stress from work, finances, and supporting parents,
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 they just think about their scores on the tests. The couple may get along well without stress, but it is when they graduate and confront these which they do not meet before. They feel stressed and fight with each other.
This
 is another reason why
people
 should not marry below 21. To summarize,
people
 under 21 are not required to face economic and various pressures from society.
Therefore
, I agree for
people
 should marry after 21.
Submitted by tung890602 on

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

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  • to illustrate
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal age
  • Marriage
  • Maturity
  • Stability
  • Individual choice
  • Freedom
  • Cultural practices
  • Religious practices
  • Education
  • Career aspirations
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