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Band 6

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #age
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There are some
people
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 who think that the legal
age
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 of marriage should be at least 21. Even though the
age
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 of 21 is already come of
age
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. It is agreed that
people
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 should marry until they are 21.
People
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 under 21 mostly do not have sustainable economic sources,
as well as
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 a majority of
people
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 have not graduated from
school
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 at that
age
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.
Firstly
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,
people
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 below the
age
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 of 21 often lack stable economic resources.
For instance
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, most of them haven’t accomplished their
school
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 life. Because of classes in the daytime, they can only do the part-time job
in
Change preposition
during
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 the semester or
in
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during
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 the long vacation. The salary of the part-time job is too less to pay the expense of the family, like housing expenses and food and essential living expenses.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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people
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 under 21 don’t prepare well for marriage.
Secondly
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, most of the
people
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 under 21 are still students. They have not experienced much stress coming from social life which is very different from
school
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. In
school
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, they would not receive stress from work, finances, and supporting parents,
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instead
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,instead
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 they just think about their scores on the tests. The couple may get along well without stress, but it is when they graduate and confront these which they do not meet before. They feel stressed and fight with each other.
This
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 is another reason why
people
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 should not marry below 21. To summarize,
people
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 under 21 are not required to face economic and various pressures from society.
Therefore
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, I agree for
people
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 should marry after 21.
Submitted by tung890602 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal age
  • Marriage
  • Maturity
  • Stability
  • Individual choice
  • Freedom
  • Cultural practices
  • Religious practices
  • Education
  • Career aspirations
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