IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are coach an amateur football team. Write a letter to a local school requesting permission to use their facilities and explaining why your team cannot find facilities and explaining why your team cannot find facilities elsewhere. Suggest how this maybe arranged so that your team's training will not interfere with the school's activities.

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am reaching out to kindly request your assistance
with
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I am
coach
Correct article usage
a coach
show examples
 from the RMA team. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter because I want to get permission to use your football territory. The first thing, I asked many times in other places but they said they were currently preparing for the championship. I
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
am also
show examples
 impressed with the facility like the locker room because it is very clean and comfortable. The second thing, I will use it from around 21:00 until 23:00 every evening.
However
Linking Words
, I use it at 7:00 morning every month. I
also
Linking Words
 keep your locker room and field still tidy, so you do not worry about
this
Linking Words
. I would be very grateful if you could help me with
this
Linking Words
 matter. I understand you may be busy, so please feel free to respond whenever it is convenient for you. Even a small piece of advice or support would mean a lot to me. I truly appreciate your time and any assistance you can provide. Thank you in advance. I look forward to your response. Yours faithfully, Elon Mask.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider organizing your letter into clear paragraphs where each paragraph addresses a specific point. For example, one paragraph could explain the request, another could mention the difficulties faced, and the third could suggest how training could be arranged.
task achievement
It might be helpful to clarify the times mentioned in your letter, particularly distinguishing between the evening and morning training times. This will enhance clarity in your request.
suitable writing tone
Ensure a more formal tone throughout the letter to align with the context of a formal request. For instance, phrases like 'I am reaching out to kindly request your assistance' could be simplified to a more direct request.
suitable writing tone
You have maintained a polite and respectful tone throughout the letter, which is essential in formal writing.
suitable writing tone
Your letter expresses gratitude and appreciation, which adds a positive touch to your communication.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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