Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people

Over recent decades pay for

admission

for going to the museum has become an integral part of

people

’s lives.

Although

pay

Wrong verb form

paying

show examples

for

admission

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some benefits like they give priority and

museums

keep

Wrong verb form

keeping

show examples

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

environment, clean,

calm

Correct word choice

and calm

show examples

also

there are some disadvantages

such

as that don’t show interest forget and about culture. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

there are more advantages than drawbacks as I will outline below. From an

overall

perspective

Add a comma

,perspective

show examples

there are two key

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

of charging

people

for

admission

museums

. One of the most obvious of

this

Correct pronoun usage

these

show examples

people

give priority when they have to pay.

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

when my friends go to the

museums

by paying they are able to understand the importance of

museums

on the other hand

if they are going to the

museums

without paying they do not give priority

also

they are

doing

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

hue and cry and make ought situation.

Another major advantages

Replace the adjective

Another major advantage

Other major advantages

show examples

another is that

people

keeps

Change the verb form

keep

show examples

natural

Add an article

the natural

show examples

environment, clean and calm in the

museums

This

is because

museums

have to charge so that

people

understand the value of

museums

. Despite these

arguments

Add a comma

,arguments

show examples

there are

also

various disadvantages to

pay

Wrong verb form

paying

show examples

for

admission

for going to the

museums

. A major problem is that when

people

have to spend money they don’t show any interest to go to the museum. Because some

people

think that paper going to the

museums

is full the waste of money.

This

problem has led to an expansion.

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

show examples

people

forget about their culture

architecture

Correct word choice

and architecture

show examples

which is not

Change the article

apply

show examples

great for a

country

Change noun form

country's

show examples

citizens. Ultimately as with many

topics

Add a comma

,topics

show examples

there are both positives and

negative

Fix the agreement mistake

negatives

show examples

. As a contraction of

sorts

Add a comma

,sorts

show examples

it is

hardship

Add an article

a hardship

the hardship

show examples

that ultimately

charge

Change the verb form

charges

show examples

for

admission

to go to

museums

more advantages than disadvantages

Submitted by Jahid Hossain on Mon Aug 07 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Admission fee
Revenue stream
Maintenance
Overcrowding
Commercialization
Cultural heritage
Diverse attendance
Community ownership
Access to culture
Visitor experience
Exhibit quality
Cultural mission
Reliance on funding
Government subsidies
Cultural accessibility

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sample Question 01 (Discuss both views) : In many countries, young adults are engaged in some kinds of work. Some people regard this as completely wrong. Others consider it as a valuable experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities. Discuss both views.