Some think most crime is the result of circumstances, eg., poverty and other social problems. Other believe that most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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In
this
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present world,
crime
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is on the rise, and prison departments take responsibility for the community of the country
however
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many people including me believe that, whoever commits a
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should go to prison and pay for the service of the country.
To begin
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, a lot of wealthy criminals re-offend crimes even after they have been released
for instance
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, they believe that, they won't be caught next time
also
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they think that, they will be released by paying the government. Police officers should be seen as community individuals which would help people feel responsible for their shoulders
furthermore
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, the death penalty should be seen as a punishment because it shows
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is not a forgivable action.
Secondly
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, prison isn't a bad place
for example
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, there is special time allocated for the criminals to learn knowledge and life lessons which are useful for them later. Many criminals make friends with other prisoners, they learn new things from each other as a matter of fact, sharing their own regret for what they have done and teaching each other new jobs to do after they went out
instead
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of recommitting again. The government does its best for
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

however
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we will continue
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

rates as high as possible.
This
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solution solves every
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because I give an explanation.
To sum up
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, the death penalty may stop people from making mistakes but I believe it would be better if the government took control of that in that case, creating a timeline for each
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, would solve the increase in crimes.

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task response
While the essay presents a clear position, it lacks a full exploration of the two sides mentioned in the prompt. Try to discuss both views - that crime is a result of circumstances and that crime is caused by inherent badness - in more detail before presenting your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure would benefit from a clearer logical progression of ideas. Consider organizing your paragraphs to first discuss one view, then the other, and finally provide your opinion with a concluding thought.
task response
Consider introducing more specific examples and evidence to substantiate your claims. This will help in reinforcing your arguments and improving task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, ensuring that the reader understands your stance from the beginning and how it is reinforced at the end.
task response
You express a strong personal opinion, which ties together the points discussed throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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