IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

To succeed in a business, one needs to know math’s. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#business #math’s
In
this
 contemporary era, there is a common belief that being a successful entrepreneur often comes with knowledge of exact science.
While
 I personally believe there are some more significant factors contributing to success in business, which I'm going to examine in the forthcoming paragraphs,   Doubtless, the importance of
math
 cannot be overlooked;
however
, being disciplined and having responsibility in your work plays a more crucial role in gaining prosperity in
this
 endeavour.
In other words
, not every CEO of a giant enterprise has a profound understanding of
math
.
For instance
, the founder of McDonald's had been selling mixers before establishing the company, and only
due to
 the fact that he was an extremely persistent individual was he able to attain impressive progress in
this
 field.
Furthermore
, nowadays, the upper layers of companies often hire bookkeepers to accomplish complex calculations and anticipate upcoming market trends.
Thus
, executives have more time to attend important meetings and work on improving office conditions.
In addition
 to
this
, in
this
 modern world, having an ability only in
math
 cannot guarantee a bright future in
this
 realm. To put it more precisely, being blessed in
math
 isn't enough for favourable outcomes, as one needs networking competence, determination to win, and obsession to outwork others. These factors, when combined, can contribute to success in business, meaning prosperity is something that requires more than one skill to attain. In conclusion, ideologically, it seems that competence in
math
 can facilitate flourishing in entrepreneurship, but the reality of the situation is more complicated. Perhaps we all should strive to do our best and work on the flaws that we have.
Submitted by shaxzodeshniyozov002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure the development of ideas aligns closely with the essay prompt. It's important to fully address the extent to which math knowledge is necessary for success in business.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and organized logical structure, ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Link ideas together more explicitly to improve coherence.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas and enhance precision in conveying the intended meaning. Work on incorporating more formal and academic vocabulary.
grammatical range
Employ a more varied and complex sentence structure to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical range. Include a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences to enhance the overall fluency of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: