(SOFIA) The government is looking to demolish an old historic building in the City Centre. Write a letter to them expressing your dissatisfaction with this plan. In your letter – Say why the building is important – Suggest solutions to preserve the building – Explain the benefits of keeping the building to the city and its residents.

Dear Sir or Madam, I am Lauren Johnson, a citizen of London and president of the
community
Clarks of Preservation of the Historical and Medieval Patrimonic.
According to
the members of the
community
we are expressing our dissatisfaction about the plan to demolish the Anne Catherine Building localization on the City Center.
Firstly
, we are aware of the big costs of preservation.
However
,
this
is not the best solution to demolish a historical place since they are extremely important to preserve the excellent exotic architecture and artwork of our ancestors, to maintain tourism and memories for the next generations.
Although
, the members of the
community
have plenty of suggestions to pay the price and manutention of the building.
Secondly
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
have been cultural programmes in
this
local,
such
as conversation clubs for immigrants to learn English, art classes for autistic children, local concerts and other attractions extremely popular with tourists Even though, they have been volunteers everything is free. For that reason, they do not receive money to pay the bills.
However
, if the government allow the sponsors for
this
building and sells the tickets to tourists, they have the possibility to maintain the costs and programmes.
In addition
, all the
community
and residents win the benefits.
Besides
that, should you have any questions or listen to the details of suggestions, you can contact me on
this
e-mail
also
the Clarks institution build. Yours sincerely, Lauren Johnson.
Submitted by liviatentor on

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task response
Address the concerns of the topic more directly and thoroughly. Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed in a clear and organized manner.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate, but the overall coherence and cohesion could be improved. Ensure that the ideas are structured and linked together more effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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