Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is true that many individuals prefer the idea that

music

Use synonyms

is one of the most crucial parts of society,

while

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others argue that it is just a simple pastime activity. Despite the source of controversy involved in

this

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field, I

would

Verb problem

apply

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personally believe that it is the best way of entertainment in society

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due to

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for

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various reasons. There are two reasons why I am convinced that

music

Use synonyms

plays a key role in life.

First,

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listening to it can help people unwind and heal themselves after a hard working day. The melody of all the songs may wash away all the worries

as well as

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boost their mood to overcome any troubles and

as a result

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, people find it easier to get along well with each other.

Secondly

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, songs

also

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improve the sense of creativity

together with

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concentration as some students or workers usually open their favourite playlists in order to come up with new ideas quickly and work more efficiently as well.

For example

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, many researchers say 90% of the observed subjects who spend their free time enjoying pop show more attention and calm in dealing with everything in life, compared to those who do not.

On the other hand

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, listening to songs simply being a form of relaxation is

also

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thought by some individuals for some factors. The primary one is that some genres these days are really ear-catching,

however

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, the lyrics are sometimes too nonsense that they cannot touch the feelings of listeners.

Moreover

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, some artists nowadays focus too much on their appearance

instead

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of their singing ability because they have to adapt to the young generation's trend.

This

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leads to the problem that

music

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may lose its value and

therefore

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, numerous people only consider it as a normal way to relax.

For instance

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, a study shows that many youngsters today have a preference for how their idols look, rather than caring about their voice. In conclusion, it seems to me that both of the opinions above are reasonable to a few extent. As for me, I strongly claim that

music

Use synonyms

is the most vital thing in society. It is necessary for both the artists and listeners to choose carefully what to perform and to enjoy.

danphamngochaWed Aug 09 2023

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task response

Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task question. Providing a balanced discussion of both views and a clear opinion is essential.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but the logical progression of ideas within paragraphs could be improved. Use transition words and phrases to better connect ideas within and between sentences to enhance coherence.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary demonstrates a reasonable range, but there is a need for greater precision and variety in word choice and collocations. Utilize more academic and precise vocabulary to convey your ideas effectively.

grammatical range

While your work has a good grasp of grammar and a variety of sentence structures, there are instances of awkward and unclear phrasing. Work on using complex structures more effectively and consistently to raise your score in this category.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

369 words

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Some people think that music plays an important role in society. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, fast food restaurants and companies give money to schools provided that the school promote their products to school children. What do you think is the positive and negative of this in the development of children?

In most countries, prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to a friend who is looking for a part time job. Describe a job you have found for him/her including: - What are the duties? - Why do you think it is a good job for him/her? - What does he/she have to do to get it?

Some people say the government should spend money on providing faster public transport while others believe the government should give priority to other factors such as cost and the effect on environment. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until at least the age of 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?