IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The way that people work today has changed significantly due to development of technology. Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages.

#people #work #development #technology
It is a common belief that the changes brought about in
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
 by technological advances have been largely negative.
However
, there is a more persuasive argument that these changes have had an
overall
 positive effect
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since they allow
people
 to
work
 in any place. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology has blurred the line between
work
time
 and off-
time
.
This
 is because
smart-phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
 and other technological devices have made it much easier to contact
people
 after they are finished with
work
.
As a result
, supervisors can now encroach upon the private
time
 of their employees. In fact, it became
such
 a problem in France that it led to a law recognizing the right to disconnect after
work
 has finished. French
people
 felt that
work
 after stated
time
 is an invasion of their personal
time
, so the legislation was passed to allow
people
 to avoid
work
 communications after company
time
.
Nevertheless
, technological advances
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 benefited workers giving them the ability to perform
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 jobs in any physical location.
Due to
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of technologies, co-workers or business partners can
work
 closely together even if they are not in the same office.
For instance
,
people
 can hold video
coference
Correct your spelling
conference
conferences
 meetings with clients in other countries, saving the
time
 and money it would take to travel
those
Change preposition
to those
show examples
 destinations.
Furthermore
, folks are able to check communications well with their phones or laptops,
this
 technological ability gives
people
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
 to
work
 from anywhere.
To sum up
, there are some disadvantages to
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
 new technology in the professional
work
 sphere.
However
, it is evident that the advantages of technological advances far outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by ku-hmi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: