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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Adult youths are often called up for the working development of communities. Some people say that they should be paid others say that they should not be paid. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The public is divided on the issue of whether the
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
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 of today should be paid in terms of communal production or whether others believe that they should do
this
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 work without taking any remuneration.
This
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 statement has a figure of benefits
along with
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 drawbacks, and I personally side with the latter view. The main reason why a sum of people say that they should be paid is that the young generation needs an amount to
full fill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
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 their desires. If the author of these social groups pays them for their deeds, they will get the opportunity to complete their demands.
Furthermore
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, the percentage of unemployment will be reduced.
For example
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, it is seen that in our country, numerous graduates do not get jobs. Providing wages for these tasks will attract their mind, and they will tend to do that task.
Additionally
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, it will bring a paramount impact not only on our social life
on the contrary
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also
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 on making a country strong financially.
Apart from
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this
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, a recent study
it is
Verb problem
apply
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demonstrated that the public can’t
fill up
Verb problem
fulfil
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 their dreams
due to
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 a lack of abundance of money. They are willing to commit crimes, which is bringing an adverse development.
Hence
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, they should be paid.
On the other hand
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, people who stand against the payment system
also
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 have a statistic of valid reasons. They think by doing a civil job, they can enhance their skills like communication skills and leadership skills and even
can
Verb problem
apply
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make their resume heavy.
Moreover
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, the young nation whose main intention is to be a doctor, nurse, or other business which are related to the civil service.
This
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 voluntary work will be like an internship. In conclusion, if they get
payment
Replace the word
paid
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 to do their job,
this
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 will inspire them or make them productive in serving the nation. Both views have various perspectives.
However
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, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
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 disadvantages is less than the advantages.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and well-developed. Your essay should follow a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and support the main argument.
task achievement
You need to address all parts of the essay prompt clearly and provide clear, comprehensive ideas with relevant specific examples. Ensure that your ideas are well-developed and directly related to the topic. Be careful with your word choice and expression to enhance clarity and precision in communication.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social responsibility
  • real-world experience
  • sense of belonging
  • exploitation
  • demotivate
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • financial incentive
  • accessible
  • boost local economies
  • community budgets
  • volunteerism
  • altruism
  • transactional mindset
  • hybrid model
  • basic expenses
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