Nowadays, economic development improves the standard of living in many countries, but some social values are lost. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Apparently, financial growth among numerous nations can raise the living standard of
people
but it
also
causes the loss of some social values.
Although
this
development has many advantages in terms of a luxurious life, good education plans and safety, the disadvantages like selfishness and imprudent money-mindedness can never overshadow the pros.
To begin
with, a luxurious life can be the primary benefit of economic expansion. The larger the money
people
have in their pockets, the higher the status in society can be achieved
along with
facilities like cars and electronic gadgets.
For example
, research conducted by The Guardian Newspaper in March 2015 stated that 1.2 million
people
started living affluent lives and crossed the poverty line in the UK when the nation expanded the industrial sector.
In addition
, not only can it assure a chance of choosing advanced educational methods for their children to provide certainty to their bright futures but it can
also
ensure the safety of their families by purchasing CCTV cameras and good medical treatments.
Hence
, the expansion is indeed beneficial. In spite of these pros,
this
trend has some negative impacts, particularly on some social values which can never be undermined. Foremost,
people
can become self-centred with the rise in their standard of living. If everybody is busy with their work and has no time to listen to the sorrow of others,
such
a society will soon be full of introverted
people
.
For instance
, the World Health Organisation published in the annual report of March 2022 that 7 out of 10 professionals from the newly expanded industrial sector felt a sense of selfishness after their joining, which turned them into emotionally dead ones.
Besides
becoming emotionless, their excessive interest in monetary gains is decreasing the quality of their social and family bonds. Even though they look rich outside, they lose their value in their family and the community as they seldom appear at special events.
Thus
, these can be adverse impacts of
this
phenomenon.
To conclude
, undoubtedly an upward slope is observed in the living status of
people
with economic progress
whereas
a disappearance of a few social values can
also
be seen.
Nonetheless
, the advantages of
this
economic development can outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by Mrjit147 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt and covers both advantages and disadvantages effectively. However, try to explore your points in more depth and with greater specificity to aim for higher precision in your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with clear introduction and conclusion paragraphs. Nonetheless, consider improving the transitions between your points to enhance the overall flow. This will make your essay even more engaging and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure, with a strong introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a solid conclusion.
task achievement
You provide specific examples, such as references to studies and reports, which strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: