IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that the amount of noise people make have to be controlled strictly, others say that people are free to make as much as they wish. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #amount #noise
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Noise
Use synonyms
 is an inevitable part of human lives. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that authorities should take serious steps to reduce
noise
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 others argue that
people
Use synonyms
 should be allowed to make
noise
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 their choice.
According to
Linking Words
 my opinion, individuals may be allowed to increase the volume of
music
Use synonyms
 for a particular occasion
as well as
Linking Words
 with a certain limit.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
music
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role in live festivals.
Additionally
Linking Words
, festivals cannot be celebrated without playing
music
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, loud
music
Use synonyms
 represents community joy. To illustrate,
people
Use synonyms
 in Gujarat celebrate Navratri with loud
music
Use synonyms
 for 9 days. They dance to their folk
music
Use synonyms
 to celebrate
this
Linking Words
 festival.
Moreover
Linking Words
, high-volume
music
Use synonyms
 can work as a stress buster for
people
Use synonyms
 who live
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 participate in clubs where the frequency of volume is very high to relieve their stress.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, curbing the issue of
noise
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 is a major concern for countries around the globe.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
noise
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 is responsible for many problems
such
Linking Words
 as hearing impairment, high blood pressure, anxiety and so on. The primary cause of
noise
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
 is traffic congestion.
According to
Linking Words
 the survey,
people
Use synonyms
 spend almost 3 to 4 hours a day
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
road traffic, which will harm their health. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
,
noise
Use synonyms
 cannot be stopped when performing rights and religious rituals, the government should make a policy that loud
music
Use synonyms
 will be allowed at certain
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, the council should improve road infrastructure to reduce traffic, which will ultimately benefit to reduce
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by harshtrivedi78 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Make sure to clearly express both sides of the argument and give a balanced opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using more linking words and transition phrases to improve the flow of ideas and create a clearer structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • mental and physical well-being
  • hearing loss
  • sleep disturbances
  • stress levels
  • freedom of expression
  • cultural expression
  • social interactions
  • economic benefits
  • property values
  • tourism and hospitality
  • entertainment and construction industries
  • thoughtful noise regulations
  • public health
  • economic and cultural considerations
  • zone-based noise control
  • flexibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: