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Writing Samples
Band 6

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.
#two #maps #show #island #construction #tourist #facilities
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The
two
Use synonyms
 graphs illustrate an
island
Use synonyms
, prior
and
Change preposition
to and
show examples
 after the building of some tourist facilities.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear there are considerable changes in
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 including, many houses ,
one
Use synonyms
restaurant
Use synonyms
, and
one
Use synonyms
recpetion
Correct your spelling
reception
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
constructed.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
 swimming pool, pier, and
two
Use synonyms
 ships
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 added. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
,
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
 and beach
unchanged
Add a missing verb
were unchanged
show examples
 and many
footpath
Change to a plural noun
footpaths
show examples
 was introduced . Looking at
Use synonyms
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
maps
Use synonyms
 in more detail, in
Correct article usage
the center
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and right of
Use synonyms
maps
Correct article usage
the maps
show examples
 several homes will
builded
Correct your spelling
build
 and
also
Linking Words
 many
footpath
Change to a plural noun
footpaths
show examples
 was added around
accommodations
Correct article usage
the accommodations
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
top
Add an article
the top
show examples
 of
Add an article
the center
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
maps
Correct article usage
the maps
show examples
one
Use synonyms
restaurant
Use synonyms
, and
also
Linking Words
 under
Use synonyms
restaurant
Correct article usage
the restaurant
show examples
one
Use synonyms
recpetion
Correct your spelling
reception
 was added.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
restaurant
Add an article
the restaurant
show examples
 was surrounded by cars track.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
top
Add an article
the top
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
maps
Correct article usage
the maps
show examples
sea
Correct article usage
the sea
show examples
surrunded
Correct your spelling
surrounded
 the
island
Use synonyms
 was still unchanged.
Regatding
Correct your spelling
Regarding
 other changes,
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
left
Add an article
the left
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
maps
Correct article usage
the maps
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 swimming pool near the beach was added. tress and beach
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
still remain without
altered
Replace the word
alteration
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
bottom
Add an article
the bottom
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the maps
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
map
show examples
maps
Add a comma
,maps
show examples
 pire was
estabilshed
Correct your spelling
established
 and
also
Linking Words
two
Use synonyms
 ships will
added
Change the verb form
be added
add
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, furthermore".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words two, island, one, restaurant, maps with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • island
  • before and after
  • construction
  • tourist facilities
  • maps
  • changes
  • comparison
  • description
  • implications
  • personal opinion
What to do next:
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