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Writing Samples /
Band 5

A country should spend money on skills training or vocational training for practical work, rather than on university education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #money #skills #work #university #education
Intensive education and practical training are argued to be the priority of a nation rather than
university
 programs.
In
Change preposition
From
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 my standpoint, I entirely support his statement as it will almost ensure employment for their citizens.
To begin
 with, people will be promoted to gain expertise, knowledge
as well as
 realistic experiences
on
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in
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 work if vocational programs are encouraged by the government.
This
 owing to the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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this
 type of training offers opportunities for people to approach directly with practical skills and comprehension of the system and concepts of the works they hope to undertake;
therefore
, it will bring higher benefits than that of universities in employment competition . As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can be seen, in recent times, many employers prioritize the degree of applicants with skills training rather than with
university
 qualification in account to avoid excessive expenditure of resources and time on fundamental training so they will perform both short-term and long-term
efficiency
Replace the word
efficiently
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.
On the other hand
, it is indeed that knowledge acquired from
university
 programs will provide the essential foundation
as well as
 render an easier orientation for students.
Nevertheless
, it will not guarantee that the students will undertake an occupation related to the field that they have learned at school. In practice, there are numerous cases that depict people showing their dissatisfaction and feeling unsuitable with the work which they eventually decide to transfer to other sectors which are completely new for them.
As a result
 of wasting more resources
such
 as money and time on other training. Taking everything into consideration, financial support
of
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from
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 the government should focus on developing
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 and
vocation
Replace the word
vocational
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 training because it can enhance the chance of getting
the
Correct article usage
a
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 job
as well as
 ensuring a stable position which may not be done
by
Change preposition
with
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university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 education.
Submitted by zanhduy on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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