IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The question of whether long-term job seekers should do voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 is very interesting. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is not fair, but to be honest, I believe it is a good idea for the community and
also
Linking Words
 for a person who is looking for a job.
Firstly
Linking Words
, doing voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 helps the community to stay active. When you are sitting at home for a long time, you can feel very sad or lazy.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a person helps in a local garden or park, they meet new
people
Use synonyms
 and can make friends. It is much better than sitting on the sofa and waiting for easy money. Actually, it helps to improve their skills, which is good for their future life.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is important to give something back to society. As for me, if the government gives you benefits, you should help the community in return. Of course, the voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 should not be very hard; it must be something that the person can really do.
For example
Linking Words
, my friend was helping in a library, and he said that it was very funny.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 say that it is like a discipline.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I think it is an opportunity to learn new things. In fact, many companies prefer to hire
people
Use synonyms
 who have some experience in volunteering. In conclusion, I think that making job seekers do voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 is a positive thing.
Finally
Linking Words
, it helps the city and society, too. I hope that more
people
Use synonyms
 will try
this
Linking Words
 idea.

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task response
Task response: The essay states a view and gives some reasons, but ideas are not well built. Add more clear points and more full examples to back them up.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use more linking words to show flow. Some ideas jump. Try to place one main idea in each paragraph and end with a line that links back to the question.
strength
You show a clear view on the topic.
strength
There are some good examples and simple cause–effect links.
strength
The use of order words like First, Second, and In conclusion helps structure the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Long-term job seekers
  • Government benefits
  • Voluntary work
  • Community service
  • Employability
  • Sense of purpose
  • Mental health
  • Stigma
  • Unemployed
  • Public funds
  • Positively impact
  • Community
  • Exploit
  • Vulnerable individuals
  • Devalue
  • Volunteerism
  • Informal contributions
  • Skill-matching
  • Beneficial and fulfilling
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