Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

I believe that people looking for a long-term
job
should not return anything to the government, because every person pays
taxes
and the higher the salary - the higher the
taxes
. The money
that is
given to people can be recovered through
taxes
-
for example
when the person is financially more stable - authority can take a little more for
taxes
and so the government will recover its money. On one hand, proponents argue that requiring
job
seekers to participate in voluntary work fosters community engagement. Many individuals receiving government assistance face barriers to employment and volunteering can provide opportunities to acquire new skills and gain references, enhancing their employability.
This
engagement can
also
boost self-esteem and create
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
of purpose as
administration
Correct article usage
the administration
show examples
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
positively to their communities.
On the other hand
, mandating volunteer work may undermine the spirit of altruism. Volunteering should be a personal choice driven by the desire to help others, rather than an obligation.
Additionally
, some people may already be employed and struggle to manage volunteering commitments.
Moreover
, when the country's leadership focuses on a certain problem
such
as
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
unemployment, they believe that paying them contributions solves the problem, but it is affected more. In conclusion,
while
community contribution is important, imposing mandatory volunteer work on
job
seekers may not be the most effective approach. Supporting
job
seekers in finding employment and providing them with the choice to volunteer will likely lead to more meaningful contributions and greater
overall
benefits for society.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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task achievement
Consider revisiting the introduction to include a more balanced view of both sides of the argument before expressing your own opinion.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples or case studies to strengthen your argument. This will help substantiate your points and demonstrate real-world applicability.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs by using clearer linking words and phrases. This will improve the readability and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Review the structure of your arguments to ensure that each idea is fully developed and appropriately supported. This might involve expanding on some points or combining similar ones for a stronger impact.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in the essay, providing a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Long-term job seekers
  • Government benefits
  • Voluntary work
  • Community service
  • Employability
  • Sense of purpose
  • Mental health
  • Stigma
  • Unemployed
  • Public funds
  • Positively impact
  • Community
  • Exploit
  • Vulnerable individuals
  • Devalue
  • Volunteerism
  • Informal contributions
  • Skill-matching
  • Beneficial and fulfilling
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