The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from suagr can

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The process diagram presents the transformation of how

sugar

Use synonyms

is produced from

sugar

Use synonyms

cane. Looking from the

overall

Linking Words

perspective, the production procedures involved seven(7) stages, which begin with the growing of the plant and ended at the stage of drying and cooling.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the

sugar

Use synonyms

plant is grown for 12- 18 months

then

Linking Words

, it will be matured to harvest in the second category, which is done in two ways either mechanically by a harvesting machine or can be harvested manually by hand picking.

Thirdly

Linking Words

is the crushing level, whereby it's put into a crusher where the juice is extracted and collected into a container.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the liquid is purified with the aid of a limestone filter. After purification, it is

then

Linking Words

heated in the fifth category, in an evaporator, where the juice becomes syrup.

The next step is

Linking Words

centrifugal which separates the

sugar

Use synonyms

crystals from the syrup,

then

Linking Words

lastly

Linking Words

, the crystals are put into a large container where they will be allowed to dry and cool.

zikahill48Thu Aug 10 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

166 words

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from suagr can

Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time.

Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?