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Band 4

It is more important to use the space in cities well than make them look beautiful. To what extent do you agree?

#space #cities
Nowadays, buildings are being built
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 high speed. Every day we could see new construction,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 some of them look
take
Add the particle
to take
show examples
 a good
place
 another not. There are many types of buildings,
for example
: skyscrapers, restaurants, hotels,
residential
Correct word choice
and residential
show examples
 houses. Not all architects take care of the
place
 of construction of the object. In the first stage, our population increasing
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a fast pace. Incorrectly using the
place
 of construction could disturb
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
. In it will appear many troubles with public transport, delivery resources, criminal.
Secondly
, building skyscrapers in cities is a brilliant way for organising firms and offices. They will use a big
place
 without hindering citizens with occupied spaces .
Also
,
this
 way
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 really looks modern and excellent for business owners. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand,
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
,
attractive
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of attractive
show examples
 places could help in
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
show examples
 industry.
However
,
Correct word choice
if tourist
show examples
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 come to see one or two attractive places , they will obligatory go to restaurants, hotels, beaches,
target
Correct word choice
and target
show examples
 stores. In
this
 way,
tourist
Correct article usage
the tourist
show examples
 economy will grow in big numbers and help citizens with different
finances
Replace the word
financial
show examples
 problems.
Then
, we know that
plans
Correct article usage
the plans
show examples
 of cities scheme are
with
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apply
show examples
big parks and natural places.
Although
, these actions are very expensive and with massive
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of resources . With cheaper conditions,
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
 less influence
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
 nature . Eventually, working with accuracy
placing
Change preposition
in placing
show examples
 the building is
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 role.
Nonetheless
 is
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
 tourism industry,
huge
Change preposition
with huge
show examples
 business sectors with big factories. In my point of view, architects need to combine beauty, economy and
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 technology. In
this
 case, our towns will be good-looking for tourists, residents, and future generations.
Submitted by acaitaz on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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