The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Other think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
Some
people
believe that technology
is a reason for increasing the gap
between the wealthy and the poor while
others think that technology
is narrowing down the gap
between social classes
. From my standpoint, it is just right with some devices
that really
Add a missing verb
are really
expenses
. For the common Replace the word
expensive
technology
devices
, it is not totally right as will now be discussed.
I believe that technology
development has helped optimize the price of technology
devices
and increase the overall
living standard. There are many devices
and facilities were
created based on kinds of Unnecessary verb
apply
technology
such
as smartphones, housewares, commuting transportations
, … so Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
people
can get many benefits from using it to improve their quality of life. Additionally
, with the development of smart devices
, the connection between people
is closer. Friends, family members, stakeholders
who stay from different locals can easily interact via platforms or video calls to Correct word choice
and stakeholders
sharing
, Wrong verb form
share
chatting
, video calls. Apparently, Correct word choice
and chatting
technology
is playing an important role and getting people
together.
On the other hand
, opinions think that technology
available Correct article usage
the technology
increase
the Change the verb form
increases
gap
between the wealthy and the poverty, it
is not wrong. Many Correct pronoun usage
which
luxuries
technological products are super expensive Fix the agreement mistake
luxury
such
as hi-end
cars, yachts, or private jets; these enhanced Correct your spelling
high-end
devices
are treated as an icon of the luxury life and only the high
Correct your spelling
high-class
classes
people
can afford them. This
helps shine the owners, giving them confidence and emphasizing their positions in society. Besides
that, it is not too important for wealthy people
in terms of financial conditions, they are willing to pay a high price to become pioneers to try fabulous new experiences. The elite classes
with their experiences, powerful
and business acumen, may invest in Replace the word
power
this
new technology
to enhance their business by applying this
new technology
for mass production, as mentioned above it helps reducing
expenses that lower Wrong verb form
reduce
classes
easier
to approach.
In conclusion, Add a missing verb
are easier
although
technology
may increase the gap
between the rich and the poor, I keep my optimistic view about technology
products marking the transform
of living Replace the word
transformation
standard
.Fix the agreement mistake
standards
Submitted by khoiminhnguyen1411 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay contains relevant points, but the structure and organization of the ideas need improvement. Divide the essay into clear paragraphs, each presenting a different aspect of the topic. Ensure that the introduction clearly states the two opposing views and the opinion of the writer.
task achievement
The essay provides a response to the question and presents some examples to support the arguments. However, the introduction and conclusion require more clarity and purpose. Ensure that each paragraph directly contributes to the overall argument and addresses the prompt.
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