IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for all types of crime. Others feel that the circumstances of an offence should be taken into account when deciding on a punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishment #crime #circumstances #offence #account
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Any country that
aim
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aims
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 to be
crime
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 free or have fewer crimes should have strict rules for criminal.
Mostpeople
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Most people
 want
punishment
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 should be strict for any kind of
crime
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. They want the law to be strictly followed.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
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 want that
punishment
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 should be decided
according to
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 the intensity of the
crime
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.
Firstly
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, there should be a fear of
punishment
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 in
people
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 who have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 negative mind. Because if there is no strict
punishment
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 for any
crime
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 the rate of
crime
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 would rise.
For example
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, if
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punishment
Correct article usage
the punishment
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 for the thief is three years in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jail. It should be implemented on every person who theft anything whether
,
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apply
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 it’s a small wallet or a piece of heavy
jewelry
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jewellery
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. It would create a sense of fear and the
society
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 will sooner be
crime
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 free.
Secondly
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, if punishments will decide on the basis of circumstances, it will cause injustice in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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.
People
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 who have more money or influential
people
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 by their side, will find a loophole and escape. It will cause many distractions to
society
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. Nobody will have any fear of
punishment
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. Everybody will find a new way to clean chit.
However
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, I believe that
punishment
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 should be fixed for any kind of
crime
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. Despite, any of the circumstances the criminal should be punished
according to
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 the law. In conclusion, for a
society
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, free of crimes, the law should strictly be implemented. It will help to develop a safer
society
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.
Submitted by aa on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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