It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a breakdown in family relationship and communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Undoubtedly, having personal innovative devices among
the
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family
member
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members
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is a phenomenon discovery which will
be
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more time
passing
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.
However
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, it will portray minimum family interaction and many conversations can impact the development of
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. I would have to totally agree with
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given
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statement. Smart devices would have become a major replacement for classical instruments like radio and television.
Therefore
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, if a family could obtain their personal and specific piece of tech which essentially fulfils their own requirement,
then
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it could be life for them. But I would have to disagree with
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prospect.
For example
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, family members will majorly rely on automation,and their loving relationship will start to break apart with
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advancement.
Furthermore
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, children would rather prefer to spend their leisure time with a state of the art
technology
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instead
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of with their own parents. Whether the development going to contradict family bonds, we would rather it will affect their brains. Another side of the enhancement, physical interaction between parents and children would be limited with the increasing use of
technology
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.
In addition
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, several scientific researchers have indicated that mental and physical stress
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using highly radioactive devices has affected many livelihoods.
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, there is no
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obligation about using
technology
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but the family member should spend their free time interacting with family members and having loving conversations.
Due to
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this
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, complications of
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prospect will easily outnumber the positive effects of it.
To conclude
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, minimum use of any modern
technology
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would be plenty for human development or access use will create problems in relationships. For that ,reason it seems to me that family should
have to
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be our first priority rather than
technology
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and so I disagree with
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given
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statement.
Submitted by user349953 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and coherence. The introduction and conclusion need to be more defined, and the main points need to be developed in a more organized manner.
task achievement
The essay partially responds to the task, but the ideas are not fully developed and lack clarity. The examples provided are not fully relevant to the topic, and more focus is needed on addressing the extent of agreement or disagreement.
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