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Band 6.5

The chart below show the number of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2003 and 2005, with projected sales for 2007.

The chart below show the number of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2003 and 2005, with projected sales for 2007.
#show #magazines #person #five #countries #sales
The chart below
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the number of magazines sold per
person
 in five countries in 2003 and 2005, with projected sales for 2007. The presented chart represents data about five countries that
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sold magazines
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per
person
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in 2003 and 2005 , with projected sales for 2007. We can see from the data all five countries
however
country
 B shows more results than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 four
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
.In
country
 A is below
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
.It is clear from the data that numbers are very
differend
Correct your spelling
different
 and in each specified year there are visible differences. If we compare
country
 B and
country
 A in 2005,and number shows that
country
 A increased to 45
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
 but it did not rise to
results
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
 of
country
 B
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is 48
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Suprisingly
Correct your spelling
Surprisingly
 in 2003
country
 A showed
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 result.It could be noticed that compared with
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other countries
show examples
country
 C,D and E
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 indicators are low.
Country
Change preposition
In country
show examples
 C starting from 2003 the number was between 30 and 40,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it decreases gradually to 31. In
Country
 D starting from 2003 had gradually
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
 to 23 people in 2006. As can be seen in the chart in
country
 E the
numder
Correct your spelling
number
 is very low even
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
 does not
increased
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
ten
Change preposition
by ten
show examples
 people.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words person, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Trend
  • Increases
  • Decreases
  • Comparison
  • Significant
  • Projected
  • Sales
  • Economy
  • Digital Media
  • Impact
  • Cultural Factors
  • Analysis
  • Future Trends
  • Market Conditions
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