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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that schools should invest in the best equipment for students, while others say that schools should spend on hiring good teachers. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #schools #equipment #students #teachers
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Adequate
equipment
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 with a good
teacher
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 are parts of the curriculum for
children
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 to get higher improvement in a
school
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. Some believe that the best
equipment
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 is more necessary than a good
teacher
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.
This
Linking Words
 idea has its own
proponent
Fix the agreement mistake
proponents
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 and
opponent
Fix the agreement mistake
opponents
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. In my opinion, both sides are necessary in a
school
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. Some parents believe that their
children
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’s
school
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 should spend their budget on the best
equipment
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. Based on their view a good
school
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 with fantastic
equipment
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 Leeds
children
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 to motivate and learn more.
For instance
Linking Words
, a
school
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 with a big laboratory, individual
pc
Correct your spelling
PC
show examples
 and teaching aids/ supplementary books are important to motivate learners more. Teaching aids are used by teachers to drill their concept of the lesson to the students.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, computers and big laboratories push them to learn their daily lesson in
school
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. Based on the reason above
equipment
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 are really important tools for the
teacher
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 to teach their students. On the flip side, some parents believe that the most important policy in every
school
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 is a find a fantastic
teacher
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 for their
children
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. Based on their outlook, just a perfect and conscientious
teacher
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 with a high-level university degree can be beneficial for their
children
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. As an illustration, a university professor knows more than a
school
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teacher
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 not only of their experience but
also
Linking Words
 more knowledge. Based on their view, their
children
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’s aptitude and ability can be developed by the appropriate person in every
school
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. So a good and conscientious
teacher
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 with a high-level university degree is sufficient to teach students. In conclusion,
according to
Linking Words
 the benefit of both views, a
school
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 with a great rank with sufficient and adequate
equipment
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 needs an expert educator to transfer their knowledge based on the educational curriculum.
Submitted by ghsa1214 on

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic and provide more balanced arguments for both views.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the transition between paragraphs and ensure a clear flow of ideas throughout the essay. Consider using linking words to connect ideas more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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