Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people suppose that becoming older is the worst thing for them, but others seem not to believe it and argue that the elderly in modern days are greater in body and mental health than in the past. From my perspective, I go for the latter, and I will discuss both views in
this
essay to support my opinion. On the one hand, there are some drawbacks we often see in the elderly.
Firstly
, in the old age period, they could get some diseases, which might result in a reduction in lifespans and cause a lot of pain to their bodies.
For example
, Alzheimer's is a brain disease that mainly affects old people and results in the gradual loss of memory, speech, movement and the ability to think clearly. Another reason is that they could suffer from loneliness when they retire because they lose connection with their colleagues and friends
while
their children and their family members are busy with studying or work. These grandparents might stay alone at home for the whole day, just doing some boring chores, which could negatively impact their emotions and mental health.
On the other hand
, the quality of
life
of the elderly nowadays is considered to be much better than before thanks to the advancement in medical services and enhancing connections. Scientific data from Our World Data showed that
life
expectancy has doubled since the 1990s from 32 years to 71 years in 2021.
In addition
, more and more clubs
such
as poetry, swimming, chess, and tai chi clubs where they can socialize and keep their brain active, and organizations like retirement homes, and elderly associations dedicated to the old are established. These groups and associations contribute positively creating much happiness for them, as they could have chances to keep in touch with communities and make some new friends. In conclusion, despite the challenges of ageing, advancements in healthcare and the establishment of social clubs have greatly improved the quality of
life
for the elderly. With increased
life
expectancy and enhanced community engagement, the negative impact of ageing seems less significant in the present than in the past.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly presents a separate main point, with the required explanation or supporting example, to improve the clarity of the ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and function properly, but enhancing them with more precise and robust thesis statements would create a stronger impact.
Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to present your ideas in a clear and comprehensive way. This will enrich your writing and improve engagement with the reader.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples and data to back up your arguments. Even though the use of data from Our World Data is commendable, additional concrete examples can reinforce your stance.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • elderly
  • modern world
  • decline
  • physical
  • mental health
  • diseases
  • disabilities
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • access
  • healthcare
  • medications
  • lifelong learning
  • personal growth
  • social support
  • community engagement
  • positive aspects
  • negative aspects
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