Some people spend a lot of money celebrating personal family events, such as weddings and birthdays. How important is it to celebrate such events? Do you think people spend too much money on these events?

#people #money #events #weddings #birthdays

It is true that

individuals

love celebration, especially at birthdays and weddings. From my perspective, it is very important to celebrate these

events

because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

merely

happens

Correct subject-verb agreement

happen

show examples

once in life, albeit

individuals

definitely spend a high

far

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

amount on

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. Commemorative

events

such

as birthdays or weddings are crucial to be celebrated

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

individuals

will not be able to re-experience it.

For example

, age 18th birthday is when a teenager transforms into an adult spiritually. In Taiwan’s tradition, elders will prepare a ceremony to celebrate

this

birthday in order to make

this

fantastic moment special. In terms of wedding, it represents two different aspects, one of which is a second life beginning, a new family, and the other is one of the characters' end, a child. These

events

are definitely worth celebrating.

However

individuals

usually spend a ridiculous amount of

money

on these

events

. Even though these occasions are valuable to be celebrated, people often over-decorate their parties, which costs a huge amount of

money

For instance

, celebrating with fireworks has become a popular way in recent years. It is an unnecessary and expensive decoration but now it turns out to be a symbol of celebration.

Furthermore

, the prices of celebration gifts are growing as well. Previously, a nice rose

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

an optimum choice for gifts, but now, most teenagers prefer to hand out luxuries like Gucci or Prada to express their hearts. In conclusion, celebrating these

events

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

undoubtedly essential, but

individuals

have spent too much

money

on it. People can consider doing more meaningful activities

instead

of wasting their

money

on celebrations.

Submitted by anson900506 on Sat Aug 12 2023

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people spend a lot of money celebrating personal family events, such as weddings and birthdays. How important is it to celebrate such events? Do you think people spend too much money on these events?

Some people think that school should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

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The government is spending a lot of money discovering other planets. Some people think that the government is wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problem of the public. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a positive or negative development?