IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One claims that the old population is the government’s challenge
while
Linking Words
 the other thinks that an increase in seniors would enhance the quality of society. In my opinion, I believe the ageing population would bring more value than its drawbacks. On one hand, there will be more
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
 with rich experiences and a lower demand for high salaries. Old
people
Use synonyms
 are likely to accept their offered job even if they get paid peanuts
due to
Linking Words
 their ageing limitation.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, they have more time to do some meaningful voluntary work compared to young
people
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 they still have a lot of passions to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 or things to worry about
such
Linking Words
 as marriage, family, and so on.
As a result
Linking Words
, it not only benefits businesses but
also
Linking Words
 governments
due to
Linking Words
 a decrease in crime rate, and services for the youth.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
 contribute to the government’s ranking with happiness level and life expectancy.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, possessing the old population would lead to a rise in health issues
such
Linking Words
 as illness, diseases, and so forth. If they stop working, there will not be any taxes on the government’s budget which could affect their spending or subsidies, and they may face a budget deficit.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in some countries, governments have to pay for elderly
people
Use synonyms
’s pensions so it would be a financial burden for them.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it will not be a serious concern anymore when
people
Use synonyms
 are aware of saving money or purchasing insurance for their retirement, or they can even stay in a nursing home
that is
Linking Words
 accessible for healthcare services. In conclusion, having more elderly
people
Use synonyms
 would create a positive impact on the community and society in general which outweigh the disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: