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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart shows components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#components #gdp #uk #information #features #comparisons
The chart gives information about components of the gross domestic product (GDP) in both
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
 and
service
industry
 in
Correct article usage
the united
show examples
united
Capitalize word
United
show examples
 Kingdom
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
year
 1992 to 2000. It is clearly seen that
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
industry
 increased gradually,
however
,
GDP-based
Correct your spelling
GDP based
show examples
 on
service
Correct article usage
the service
show examples
industry
 go up unpredictably except in 1996 was a little bit reduced. Based on the graph, the rate of
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
industry
 was
rised
Correct your spelling
risen
show examples
 by 25% till 1996 which
revealed
Add a missing verb
was revealed
show examples
 to be declined
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 2%. In the
year
1998
Add a comma
,1998
show examples
 it was increased by 50%.
Finally
, it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the high pic in the
year
 2000.
On the other hand
, the rate of GDP- based on
service
Correct article usage
the service
show examples
industry
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
doubled in the
year
 2000 compared to the first
year
,
however
 slightly increased from the previous years
such
 as in 1992-2000. In the
year
 1998 was nearly doubled compared to the first
year
 1992.
However
, the rate of GDP-based
service
industry
 in both 1996 and 1998 was more similar.
Submitted by bashdar.hussen on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words service, industry, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • components
  • GDP
  • consumption
  • investment
  • government spending
  • net exports
  • display
  • categories
  • largest
  • increase
  • stable
  • range
  • decline
  • fluctuate
  • gradual
  • positive values
  • negative values
  • overall
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