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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart shows the monthly spending in dollars of a family in the USA on three items in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the monthly spending in dollars of a family in the USA on three items in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph illustrates data on monthly families' expenditures on 3 items in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, Food spending is at its highest
amount
Use synonyms
 in February,
gas
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 spending is at its highest in April and families paid the most for clothing in April. The average spending shows that
March
Use synonyms
 was the
month
Use synonyms
 when citizens spend the highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of money on these items. Starting from
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 section, the US citizens paid a little
bellow
Correct your spelling
below
show examples
 500
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in January.
This
Linking Words
amount
Use synonyms
 raise moderately in the next
month
Use synonyms
 to reach its
highes
Correct your spelling
highest
amount
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 (550 million dollars).
Then
Linking Words
 food
expediture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
 fell in the next
month
Use synonyms
 to register its lowest figures in April at a little over 300. Turning to
gas
Use synonyms
 spending, in January families paid approximately 330
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 for
gas
Use synonyms
. In the subsequent
Use synonyms
month
Add a comma
,month
show examples
 the
amount
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 of spending on
gas
Use synonyms
 declined to become circa 250, and
then
Linking Words
 returned to its previous figure in
March
Use synonyms
. The highest expenditure
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 fuel
experienced
Add a missing verb
was experienced
show examples
 in April: roughly 560 million dollars. Clothing had been a sector that fluctuated throughout the period.
Started
Wrong verb form
Starting
show examples
 from over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
220
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in January, it registered a substantial rise in February (nearly 560
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
) and
then
Linking Words
 decreased to almost 300
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in
March
Use synonyms
. The clothing expenditure rocketed in the next
month
Use synonyms
underwent
Correct word choice
and underwent
show examples
 the highest spending figure (nearly 640
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
) in the whole period and among the 3
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
show examples
. The average line graph demonstrates that the spending average was constant for the first two
Use synonyms
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
 in 360 and
then
Linking Words
 registered a hike in
March
Use synonyms
 sitting at 420 million dollars.
Linking Words
finally
Add a comma
,finally
show examples
 it declined to finish at 280
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, gas, march, month, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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