IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problem as result. Why do many working People not get enough exceise? what can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health #exceise
In the modern world, folk have plenty of tasks and they can not ignore their duty,
therefore
, they get some healthcare problems ,
such
 as heart disease, obesity, high blood pressure,…..etc.
Also
, it is undeniable that lack of healthcare through lesser spare time for working out is one of the most challenging issues in the Middle East . First of all, nowadays, playing sports is less common everywhere in nature
due to
, some people do not have a break and some humans do not have enough money to spend on the gym.
Moreover
, a recent study by the WTO(U.K. government) showed that the death statistics of persons who do not have any physical activity are more than others who mostly spend their rest in the gym.
Nevertheless
 , it should not be forgotten that society who are keen on training regularly has a higher moral for life.
However
 , I will tag some solutions for
this
 trouble ,
first,
for the people who do not have rest time, the government can establish a gym in the place their effort with a jacuzzi, senna and bathroom, so they can practice and after that for coming fresh take a shower in the middle their works day,
also
 group of people who work for self-employed can wake up earlier in the morning and do physical exercises .
For example
 , if they drive to industry at 10 am they can get up at 7 am and take a shower, eat breakfast and workout.
Moreover
, for employees who do not have a requirements budget , the state can establish some place where they can play sports.
To conclude
, exercise is necessary for our life, and no difference in where we live or which Personality we have, without it our body is in danger. So, as soon as possible we have to start it.
Submitted by alimsvvv5 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: