IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others say that economic growth is damaging the environment and should stop. Discuss bọth views and give your own opinion.

#people #growth #world #poverty #hunger #environment #bọth
Some individuals say that economic
growth
 is the only method to
end
world
poverty
 and
hunger
. Others say that economic
growth
 is harming the ecosystem and should stop. In my opinion, economic
growth
 is
only
Add an article
the only
show examples
 way to
end
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
world
poverty
 and
hunger
due to
 it
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 job opportunities for
people
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make improvements in agriculture sectors. On the one hand, some believe that economic
growth
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a
negtaive
Correct your spelling
negative
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
 on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
This
 is because economic
growth
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 number of
factories
, which these
factories
 use fossil fuel.
Consequently
, more
burn
Replace the word
burning
show examples
out
Change preposition
of
show examples
 fossil fuel mean more Co 2 emission
release
Wrong verb form
released
show examples
 from
factories
 to the atmosphere, which mean more Co2 footprint mean
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chance of global warming and climate.
Furthermore
, more
factories
 mean more air pollution, which
this
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
adverse
Add an article
an adverse
show examples
 influence on
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 health. To illustrate, air contamination can make
people
 more vulnerable to get serious diseases namely, cancer, asthma, and high blood pressure.
On the other hand
, I would like to agree with those
people
 who believe economic
growth
 only way to
end
world
poverty
 and
hunger
.
To begin
 with, economic
growth
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
 more companies will enter
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 market of countries, which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 more companies mean more job opportunities for
people
.
For example
,
thousand
Correct your spelling
thousands
show examples
 of
people
 will work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 companies as engineers, managers,
Correct word choice
and cashier
show examples
cashier
Fix the agreement mistake
cashiers
show examples
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can contribute to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
living
Correct article usage
the living
show examples
 standards of
people
 and
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
poverty
.
As a result
, less
poverty
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
 less crime.
Moreover
, economic
growth
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
 more improvements in
agriculture
Add an article
the agriculture
show examples
 sector, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
increase
 of availability of food. To demonstrate, improvements in farming help
farmes
Correct your spelling
farms
 to use
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 methods
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 genetic modification to plant
furits
Correct your spelling
fruits
 and
vegtables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make food
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 faster and resist diseases.
To sum up
, from my perspective,
althouth econmoic
Correct your spelling
although economic
growth
 can a detrimental
conseqence
Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
 on
Correct article usage
the ecosytem
show examples
ecosytem
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
ecosystems
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 pollution, climate change , and global warming , I believe economic
growth
 is the only way to
end
world
poverty
 and
hunger
 because it
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 jobs for
people
, and
increase
availability
Add an article
the availability
show examples
 of food.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!