IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is suggested that everyone in the world should have a car, a TV and a fridge. Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages for society？

#world #car #tv #fridge #society？
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue that the number of people of
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 convenient
devices
Use synonyms
 for life
such
Linking Words
 as cars, and Tv, and fridges should increase to 100%.I strongly believe that it will have a good
effect
Use synonyms
 more than a bad
effect
Use synonyms
 on society. If a number of people will be used to convenient
devices
Use synonyms
 for life. Probably, they should spend a lot of
electricity
Use synonyms
 and oil than now.We will make to pollution. Because
electricity
Use synonyms
 making
need
Add an article
the need
show examples
 to pollution.
That is
Linking Words
 likely to bad
effect
Use synonyms
 on
environmentenvironment
Correct your spelling
environment environment
.
However
Linking Words
, nowadays,
electricity
Use synonyms
 making methods are significantly increasing with good
effect
Use synonyms
 on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. They do not
use
Use synonyms
 oil, they
use
Use synonyms
 natural resources
such
Linking Words
 as solar , wind and water energy.
That is
Linking Words
 no more make to pollution. And, the convenient device gives us for comfortable.
For example
Linking Words
, We are no more walking in the street because we have cars. The TV gives me free time for me.
That
Linking Words
is give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 us to feel information,funny and several emotions just watching. the fridge protects me from food poison.
Then
Linking Words
 mentioned above that convenient
devices
Use synonyms
are become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
show examples
very important in our lives. If, among them lost one item, we do not imagine my lives.Maybe, we will have any problems. Especially, about physically. in conclusion, Nowadays, we do not
use
Use synonyms
devices
Use synonyms
 that
use
Use synonyms
electricity
Use synonyms
 and oil is almost impossible.
However
Linking Words
, if, that will do not
use
Use synonyms
 too much, that has much more advantages than disadvantages.
Submitted by moneekun on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: