Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some
people
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argue that
teenagers
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should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spend
time
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of their free
time
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on local
community
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service for free. I strongly believe that
thier
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their
work in the
community
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has a negative
effect
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. The local
community
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wants staff always. Because the
community
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does not business for money and do not many
hirering
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hiring
paid employee.
However
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,
although
Linking Words
people
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,including
teenagers
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, wish to need
to
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apply
show examples
mass
benefit
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benefits
show examples
,
people
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wish
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
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their free
time
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.
As a result
Linking Words
,
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community
Add an article
the community
show examples
wishes to want unpaid workers all the
time
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. even if they are
teenagers
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or not.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in recent days,
teenagers
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are very busy.
School
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The school
show examples
has very tight studies. And they go to academics after school, and
then
Linking Words
comeback
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come back
show examples
home at about 10 PM. But, they do not end on schedule . They study
at
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apply
show examples
over night
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overnight
show examples
. Really, will their
workin
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work
in a
community
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have
positive
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a positive
show examples
effect
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on them? Youth's free
time
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spent on only their own positive
effect
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on them more than working in the
community
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. Watching
movie
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movies
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, reading books,
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
hobbies, making good memories, etc. The experience is very important
for
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in
show examples
their life. They should spend more
time
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on
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
good memories.And
then
Linking Words
, when they grow up adults and have a more stable life,
thier
Correct your spelling
their
own will spend
timein
Correct your spelling
time in
the
community
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in their free
time
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. For the reasons mentioned above, I totally disagree with the opinion, because work in the
community
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is necessary for society, but
teenagers
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spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
free
fime
Correct your spelling
time
is necessary for them. That has a good
effect
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by moneekun on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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