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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and mae comparisons with relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and mae comparisons with relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#bar #visits #community #website #first #second #year #information #features #mae #comparisons
The bar chart illustrates the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
visits
 by the thousands paid to a community website within the
first
 two years of
use
.
Overall
, there is a greater upward trend from the second
year
 of
use
 compared to the
first
year
 of
use
.
In addition
 to that, in both years the website undergoes a drastic fluctuation in
numbers
. It can be observed that
initially
 in the month of September,
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
visits
 in the
first
year
 of
use
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 lower than
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
year
 of
use
, but
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of the former
subsequently
 surpasses the latter in the final month of August. In regards to the
first
year
 of
use
,
quantity
Add an article
the quantity
a quantity
show examples
 of
visits
 increases from about 2000
visits
 in September to 10000
visits
 within 2 months and remains constant for another month. Following that,
numbers
 plummet from December to February, reaching a
low-point
Correct your spelling
low point
show examples
 of less than approximately 500
visits
. The
numbers
 rise gradually from February onwards until it reaches
it's
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 highest at 15000 by August.
On the other hand
, during the second
year
 of
use
, the number of
visits
 rises sharply from about 2500
visits
 to around 17500
visits
. Soon, the
visits
 dip to 10000 only by February, persisting to March. The trend
then
 increases steadily until it touches roughly 22500
visits
 in July, but drops once again to less than 13000.
Submitted by eerkare on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visits, first, use, year, numbers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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