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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and mae comparisons with relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below shows the number of visits to a community website in the first and second year of use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and mae comparisons with relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#bar #visits #community #website #first #second #year #information #features #mae #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
visits
Use synonyms
 by the thousands paid to a community website within the
first
Use synonyms
 two years of
use
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a greater upward trend from the second
year
Use synonyms
 of
use
Use synonyms
 compared to the
first
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 of
use
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, in both years the website undergoes a drastic fluctuation in
numbers
Use synonyms
. It can be observed that
initially
Linking Words
 in the month of September,
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
visits
Use synonyms
 in the
first
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 of
use
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 lower than
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 of
use
Use synonyms
, but
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of the former
subsequently
Linking Words
 surpasses the latter in the final month of August. In regards to the
first
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 of
use
Use synonyms
,
quantity
Add an article
the quantity
a quantity
show examples
 of
visits
Use synonyms
 increases from about 2000
visits
Use synonyms
 in September to 10000
visits
Use synonyms
 within 2 months and remains constant for another month. Following that,
numbers
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 plummet from December to February, reaching a
low-point
Correct your spelling
low point
show examples
 of less than approximately 500
visits
Use synonyms
. The
numbers
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 rise gradually from February onwards until it reaches
it's
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 highest at 15000 by August.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, during the second
year
Use synonyms
 of
use
Use synonyms
, the number of
visits
Use synonyms
 rises sharply from about 2500
visits
Use synonyms
 to around 17500
visits
Use synonyms
. Soon, the
visits
Use synonyms
 dip to 10000 only by February, persisting to March. The trend
then
Linking Words
 increases steadily until it touches roughly 22500
visits
Use synonyms
 in July, but drops once again to less than 13000.
Submitted by eerkare on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visits, first, use, year, numbers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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