There are increasing student Drop from school, please share your opinion

#student #drop #school

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In the contemporary era, characterized by demanding prerequisites and a push for higher

education

, a concerning trend of rising

college

dropout rates has ignited a global discourse.

This

essay aims to delve into the underlying reasons behind

this

phenomenon and propose effective measures to address the issue. On one hand, both society and businesses highly value

individuals

with a solid educational background and credentials from reputable universities.

Education

stands as a fundamental requirement in today's competitive job market.

However

this

pursuit of excellence often leads to unintended consequences.

According to

a recent survey conducted by CNN, an alarming 60,000

students

drop out of

college

every day.

This

trend can be attributed to various factors, with one of the most prominent being the pressure to excel and the prevalence of false expectations perpetuated within educational systems. The psychological strain imposed on young

individuals

to meet unrealistic standards can often result in a lack of motivation to pursue their academic

endeavors

Change the spelling

endeavours

show examples

further

Moreover

, the exorbitant costs associated with tuition fees and living expenses present a significant financial burden for many

students

and their families. Despite advancements in societal and economic spheres, a considerable number of adolescents are compelled to abandon their educational pursuits

due to

financial constraints.

On the other hand

, the rapidly evolving nature of our society has reshaped the perceptions and values of the millennial generation. Inspired by numerous examples of successful

individuals

such

as Bill Gates, many young people are increasingly inclined towards alternative paths to success, often bypassing traditional educational routes.

This

shift in mindset reflects a growing recognition of the importance of practical skills and entrepreneurial

endeavors

Change the spelling

endeavours

show examples

in achieving personal and professional

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

. To effectively address the issue of

college

dropout rates, several measures can be implemented.

Firstly

, there is a need for comprehensive reforms within the

education

system to alleviate the pressure on

students

and promote a more holistic approach to learning.

This

could involve the integration of vocational training programs and practical skill development alongside traditional academic curricula.

Additionally

, governments and educational institutions must work towards making higher

education

more accessible and affordable for all

individuals

, regardless of their socio-economic background. Scholarships, grants, and financial aid packages can play a crucial role in mitigating the financial barriers that hinder

students

from pursuing their educational goals. In conclusion, the escalating rate of

college

dropout is a multifaceted issue that warrants urgent attention and concerted efforts from various stakeholders. By addressing the underlying causes and implementing targeted interventions, we can strive towards creating a more inclusive and supportive educational environment that empowers all

individuals

to achieve their full potential.

Submitted by futaommy on Fri Mar 08 2024

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Task Achievement - Relevant Specific Examples

To further enhance your essay, consider incorporating more specific examples and case studies to support your arguments. This will add depth to your essay and make your points more compelling.

Coherence & Cohesion - Logical Structure

While the essay exhibits a strong logical structure and coherence throughout, working on smoother transitions between paragraphs can refine the overall flow. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to ensure a seamless connection between ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

432 words

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There are increasing student Drop from school, please share your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a woman's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s live. To what extend you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people believe that playing games and watching TV programs is beneficial but for others it does not improve mental ability of children. To what extent do you agree or disagree.