One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school camp as a sports trainer. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. In your letter: say how well you know your friend describe the qualifications and experience that your friend has explain why your friend would be suitable for this job.

#friends #job #summer #school #camp #sports #trainer #manager #friend #qualifications

Dear Mr. John, I am writing

this

email to recommend my friend

Mrs.

Change the punctuation

Mrs

show examples

Joe for the available job position as a

sports

trainer at

summer

Correct article usage

a summer

show examples

school camp. We have studied together since we were kids, and she has been very interested in

sports

since her childhood. She was fond of playing tennis and she had played in many national-level competitions. I was impressed by her dedication to

sports

. She had completed her bachelor’s degree in health and wellness and was working as a

sports

teacher at a national school, Markham. She has an

overall

of 15 years of experience in coaching students for various tournaments and local events. I would like to recommend her for

this

position because of her dedication to work.

Moreover

, her experience is suitable for

this

prospect so I believe that she would be the right person. I hope that you will consider my suggestion. I look forward to hearing your response at your earliest convenience. Yours sincerely Jee

Submitted by jeeanay on Sat Dec 02 2023

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coherence cohesion

The letter presents information logically, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using more cohesive devices to enhance flow between paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Include a greeting phrase and a closing phrase to clearly signal the beginning and end of the letter.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea, but expand on the details provided for a more robust recommendation.

task achievement

Make sure to directly address all parts of the task. The letter could be improved by elaborating on how well the writer knows the friend and providing specific examples of the friend's qualifications and experience.

task achievement

Use a professional and enthusiastic tone suitable for a letter of recommendation. The tone used is generally appropriate, but make sure it is consistently formal throughout.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

163 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ardent enthusiast
physical education
sportsmanship
pragmatic approach
diligence
team spirit
engaging personality
mentorship
leadership qualities
communication skills
first-aid certified
discipline
adaptability
youth mentor
enthusiastic
influential coach
role model
positive reinforcement
camaraderie
empathy

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