IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school camp as a sports trainer. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. In your letter: say how well you know your friend describe the qualifications and experience that your friend has explain why your friend would be suitable for this job.

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Dear Mr. John, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 email to recommend my friend
Mrs.
Change the punctuation
Mrs
show examples
 Joe for the available job position as a
sports
Use synonyms
 trainer at
summer
Correct article usage
a summer
show examples
 school camp. We have studied together since we were kids, and she has been very interested in
sports
Use synonyms
 since her childhood. She was fond of playing tennis and she had played in many national-level competitions. I was impressed by her dedication to
sports
Use synonyms
. She had completed her bachelor’s degree in health and wellness and was working as a
sports
Use synonyms
 teacher at a national school, Markham. She has an
overall
Linking Words
 of 15 years of experience in coaching students for various tournaments and local events. I would like to recommend her for
this
Linking Words
 position because of her dedication to work.
Moreover
Linking Words
, her experience is suitable for
this
Linking Words
 prospect so I believe that she would be the right person. I hope that you will consider my suggestion. I look forward to hearing your response at your earliest convenience. Yours sincerely Jee

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coherence cohesion
The letter presents information logically, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using more cohesive devices to enhance flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Include a greeting phrase and a closing phrase to clearly signal the beginning and end of the letter.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea, but expand on the details provided for a more robust recommendation.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address all parts of the task. The letter could be improved by elaborating on how well the writer knows the friend and providing specific examples of the friend's qualifications and experience.
task achievement
Use a professional and enthusiastic tone suitable for a letter of recommendation. The tone used is generally appropriate, but make sure it is consistently formal throughout.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ardent enthusiast
  • physical education
  • sportsmanship
  • pragmatic approach
  • diligence
  • team spirit
  • engaging personality
  • mentorship
  • leadership qualities
  • communication skills
  • first-aid certified
  • discipline
  • adaptability
  • youth mentor
  • enthusiastic
  • influential coach
  • role model
  • positive reinforcement
  • camaraderie
  • empathy
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