IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 are increasing day by day. Alongside, various methods to overcome these damages are
also
Linking Words
 taking place. Some individuals argue that the biggest hardship we might face
due to
Linking Words
 environmental hazards might be the loss of important animals and plants.
However
Linking Words
, others debate that, these are not the only
problems
Use synonyms
 being faced. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 plenty
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more to it as well. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain both
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
 perspectives.
Additionally
Linking Words
, will
also
Linking Words
 give my opinion, explaining how it is only limited to living beings.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 if we see environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 are seriously alarming. Various
problems
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 pollution, climate change,
ozone
Correct word choice
and ozone
show examples
 layer depletion are not good for well beings health and are giving rise to new diseases for which there is no cure available.
Due to
Linking Words
 lack of proper
medications
Add a comma
,medications
show examples
 the individuals might end up dying.
For instance
Linking Words
, Australia is suffering from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very harmful bacteria, which scientists believe is obtained
due to
Linking Words
 the polluted environment and is directly affecting the population of animals and plants.
Whereas
Linking Words
 there is no cure invented
till
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now to stop
this
Linking Words
 hazardous disease.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are other
problems
Use synonyms
 as well that arise
due to
Linking Words
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 damage.
Although
Linking Words
 if we see they are not that important and harmful as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
one’s
Correct article usage
the one’s
show examples
 mentioned above.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it cannot be fully ignored. One small issue can lead to
big
Add an article
a big
the big
show examples
 problem. So, it is important we focus on them on time and try to eradicate
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 as soon as possible.
For example
Linking Words
, the ozone layer diminishing was increasing in the USA.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the government took strict action and spread awareness among citizens on how they can overcome it and after several months
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 ozone layer is safe now, all
due to
Linking Words
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
show examples
 and maturity
showed
Change the form of the verb
shown
show examples
 by the law and people. In conclusion, I believe all these
problems
Use synonyms
 are unstoppable, yet there are numerous ways we can overcome them. So, putting our world on top priority
this
Linking Words
 is our moral and ethical right to go till the end and protect our environment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: