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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern word. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

#places #world #tourism #source #income #word
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The
tourism
Use synonyms
 industry is growing very fast day by day.
Tourism
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 is a good source for any country to increase
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 GDP but relying too much on
tourism
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 can cause
a
Remove the article
apply
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big trouble as
over
Add a hyphen
over-tourism
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tourism
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 leads to the exploitation of country resources.
Tourism
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 has converted many deserts into the multi skyscraper cities. Look at Dubai, who knows Dubai in
Correct article usage
the 1980's
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1980's
Fix apostrophe usage
1980s
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? No one. But, today,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Dubai is one of the most visited
destination
Change to a plural noun
destinations
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 by travellers around the world.
This
Linking Words
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 power of
tourism
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. If countries develop their infrastructure, No doubt they are adding one more source of income
in
Change preposition
to
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 their National income. Not only the government, we can see a huge increase in the standard of living of the residents living near the newly developed tourist spot. As their property price will increase and they have more opportunities in business, jobs, and rental income. If
tourism
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 is expanded without
check
Wrong verb form
checking
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 on it,
this
Linking Words
 can cause
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
huge exploitation of country resources. As most of the tourist spots are developed near natural beauties like lake or beach and
tourism
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
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 these spots lead to overcrowdedness on these places, if it is expanded without proper planning.
For example
Linking Words
, the main source of flooding in
utrakhand
Change the capitalization
Utrakhand
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, a state of
india
Change the capitalization
India
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 in 2019 was pollution caused by tourists. In the end, I would like
to conclude
Linking Words
 that
tourism
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 is not bad if it is developed with proper planning and execution. Countries don't have to rely mainly on
tourism
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 as in bad times,
tourism
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 is a sector which gets affected first. Countries must have backup
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
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 for difficult times.
Submitted by amritpreet1609 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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