IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

in many countries, people are now living longer than before

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, it has become a popular topic that
life
Use synonyms
 span is increasing
according to
Linking Words
 the past. Many
people
Use synonyms
 think is worth discussing.
However
Linking Words
, they still have not come to an agreement with each other on whether extending of
life
Use synonyms
 span for
people
Use synonyms
 lead to some problem for the government or positive outcomes for
society
Use synonyms
. Whatever each side of the argument thinks, I strongly agree that there are negative impacts on
life
Use synonyms
 is longer for the community.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are many reasons for disadvantages. Longer
life
Use synonyms
 means an increase in the old community.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to bad effects on medicine, technology and transportation. An increase in age shows up many ill
such
Linking Words
 as diabetes or heart problems so medical services are not enough for all of the population. Another effect is that the useless public is rising because compared to the elderly
society
Use synonyms
 and young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
, the young generation is more active than old
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the countries are developing.
For example
Linking Words
, in the population pyramid the lower the elderly populace, the more quality and development
life
Use synonyms
 there are.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that the young generation has more abilities
such
Linking Words
 as thinking, creativity or employment labour.
This
Linking Words
 factor is not important for
society
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 they are a huge matter in the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, increased
Life
Use synonyms
 time has many advantages for
society
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the community have a lot of experiment and know the past history that transfers to the next generation.
Also
Linking Words
, they are attached to their culture. What is more, culture is not important for a nation but
also
Linking Words
 it is curtailed identity for all folk.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Elderly
people
Use synonyms
 see the next
life
Use synonyms
 and they have a lot of memory of their family.
For example
Linking Words
, maybe 10 years later, they can see the space
life
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, in spite of the fact that
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy has many advantages for individuals, its disadvantages are huge for the world. In my ,opinion the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. let’s not forget evolution is a key factor for survival in the world.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Elderly
  • Accumulated wisdom
  • Tradition and history
  • Guidance
  • Family life
  • Cultural practices
  • Innovation
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic productivity
  • Adaptable
  • Globalized societies
  • Physical attributes
  • Labor force
  • Economic growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: