There are a lot of people traveling abroad for fun and pleasure these days.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days,
people
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have
this
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idea that the global population have trips to foreign
countries
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to spend their free time . I do not subscribe to
this
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idea owing to the fact that most of the time
people
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travel to other
countries
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for humanitarian issues and to know about other traditional norms. On the one hand, in not only developing but
also
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poor
countries
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we can see a range of factors that need help from global charities;
as a result
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, a lot of
people
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who are involved with charity organizations have a journey to these
countries
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to fight injustice and aid these population in upgrading their education systems and sanitation solve famine issue.
For instance
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, a number of global communities go to the African
countries
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to have construction in teaching , building accommodation, and so on for nations.
On the other hand
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, If international citizens have access to the fast transportation systems that are created by globalization, they prefer to travel to other
countries
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to learn new methods of lifestyles, diverse cultures, and so forth.
In other words
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, humans like to know about the perspectives that remote communities have on account of the fact that the different norms and lives are really fascinating for them and create a bringing adventure for them.
To sum up
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, travelling to
countries
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across the work is not only a part of the fun and leisure time but it might be for helping a society that does not have satisfactory facilities or enhancing the level of knowledge about
people
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who live all around the world.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For example, provide details about particular global organizations and their specific efforts in different countries.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all points you make are clearly connected to the main topic of leisure travel. At times, the essay seems to drift towards discussing humanitarian travel without tying it back to the central topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve clarity by ensuring that each paragraph has a single main idea. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas that could be better organized.
coherence cohesion
The essay successfully introduces and concludes the argument, which creates a sense of completeness.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both humanitarian and cultural interest as reasons for travel, addressing the main task's focus.
task achievement
The essay contains clear and comprehensive ideas reflecting on both sides of the argument, showing a good level of understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Accessibility
  • Advancements
  • Transportation
  • Disposable income
  • International vacations
  • Influence
  • Social media
  • Destinations
  • Leisure travel
  • Cultural experiences
  • Domestic
  • Tourism industry
  • Budget airlines
  • Travel agencies
  • Appealing
  • Distinctive climates
  • Landscapes
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