IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people aim to achieve a balance between their work and lines,but few people achieve it. What are the causes of this? How to overcome this problem?

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In today's fast world, everybody is running after money. No doubt, making money is important but we have to make a balance between our work
life
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 and social
life
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.
Otherwise
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, we will be rich in the end but we will regret very much that we never enjoyed our
life
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. That's why balance is important. In
this
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 paragraph, I will tell you why
this
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 is happening. The
one
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 and only reason behind
this
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 is excessive consumerism. We have increased our
expenses
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 to the extent that our paycheque is not enough to cover my spending. And, when
this
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 situation happens most people start doing part-time jobs
along with
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 their full-time job to cover the
expenses
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 but no
one
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 or very few people cut their spending. Having a check on your spending is
also
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 very important. In
this
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 paragraph, I will tell you how to reduce your
expenses
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. First of all, you have to make your monthly budget and after all your
expenses
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 you must have to save at least 20 percent of your
income
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. The most standard type of budgeting says that you have to spend 30% of your
income
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 on housing, 20% of your
income
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 on a car, 15% on food, 10% on entertainment, 15% on miscellaneous
expenses
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, and 20% of your
income
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 needs to go directly into your saving account. Once you set a check on your
expenses
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, you have to set
one
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 day in a week for your family and friends. By spending time with your loved ones, you see a great refreshment in your mind and your thoughts. In the end, I want to say that giving time to your near ones is
also
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 important and enjoyment in your
life
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 is
also
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 important. Because we all have
one
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life
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 and once that time passed it will never come back. So, Don't get that much busy earning money that you regret in your old
life
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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