Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? what are the main consequences of this issue?

#people #consequences

Nowadays, the number of overweight

people

is increasing than the past ever. In my opinion, I agree with

this

issue because the technological revolution and convenience needs in

people

were an upward trend. The implication of

this

is making

people

who are fatter and some more consequences of

this

issue. For the primary reason, the technological revolution changed the working behaviour of workers which caused less activity and the consequence of overweight

people

as well. In the latest decade of the twenties century, most of working outside jobs had been transferred to working in offices with convenient technology, especially computers.

People

did not need to go out for transferring papers, they could trade information by e-mail.

Moreover

, televisions, radios, and the internet were the best technological productions for them to communicate updated information

such

as news at home

instead

they moved out.

In addition

, most outdoor activities

such

as sports, picnics, campings ,etc. were replaced by TV programs.

For instance

according to

the news on vnexpress.net, Most

people

in Vietnam spend their time playing computer games or watching television more than before because It is easy to approachable. For other reasons, When the convenience needs of humans are highly in growth, that's why many fast food companies follow

this

trend to serve the eating needs of

people

. Meanwhile, home-cooked is not the best solution for them on a busy day.

Hence

, fast food consumes an amount of calories

such

as many sugars and fatty substances that keep inside the human body for a long time and are difficult to put out without doing activities or playing sports.

This

has led to

people

to more fat ever.

For example

, the rate of overweight and fat

people

has increased rapidly in the

last

few years until now. In Conclusion, the technological revolution and convenience needs

such

as eating fast food in

people

are the main causes to make

people

fat, bringing unforeseeable consequences to human health and serious problems with diseases.

Submitted by phanminhman07 on Wed Aug 16 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
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0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Sedentary lifestyle
Obesity epidemic
Processed foods
Urbanization
Metabolism
Genetic predisposition
Calorie-dense foods
Fast food
Advertising influence
Economic factors
Physical inactivity
Poor dietary choices

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