IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others belive that some imformation is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

#people #information #research #business #world #belive #imformation
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people
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 have different views about publishing
information
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 about academic
research
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 or even commercial activities.
While
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 there are some
people
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 who argue that any
information
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 from
this
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 kind of
work
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 should be released as much as possible, I believe that there is some extent in the presenting of academic and business
research
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 results. On the one hand, a group of
people
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 think that sharing freely scientific and trade
research
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data
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 is beneficial for several reasons.
Firstly
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,
this
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work
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 makes it possible
that
Correct word choice
for
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 other
people
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 around the world to read and judge the
data
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 of
this
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research
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. In
this
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 case, if a significant number of
people
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 contribute their
opinion
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opinions
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 and
also
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 approve of the
research
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 results, that
work
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 will become more valid.
Secondly
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, with the free circulation of
information
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, other scientists can help to improve and develop
research
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.
For example
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, nowadays there are many projects that are done with the group
work
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 of scientists around the world. The other point of view, which is
also
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 my favourite, publishing the
information
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 of
research
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 and business
work
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 to the extent
that is
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 possible or even all of them entails some risks. First of all, by behaving like
this
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 the chance of academic cheating will become higher which is really challenging for academic society. With the free contribution of releasing
research
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data
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, anyone around the world can republish it with little changes and no one can understand that.
For example
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, in the past few years, there
are
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have been
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 a huge number of scientific frauds in publishing papers which is caused by free access to other researchers'
data
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.
Furthermore
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, with the idea of free publishing
data
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, the danger of the spread of uncertified
information
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increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 significantly. In conclusion, I am convinced that not releasing
information
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 about
research
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 and commercial works is more beneficial than the other scenario.
Submitted by sajjad on

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Language
There are some spelling mistakes and discrepancies such as 'belive' instead of 'believe', 'imformation' instead of 'information'. Proofreading the essay would help detect such minor errors.
Organization
Work on synthesising your main points better to achieve clearer argument development.
Language
Consider varying your sentence structures more to demonstrate greater language control and to make your writing more engaging.
Organization
Last sentence of the last paragraph could be improved. A concluding sentence could restate your position in a fresh new way.
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