IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary society, taking a gap
year
Use synonyms
 after matriculating has become increasingly prominent. Hereby, some nations encourage adolescents to see the world so that they can discover themselves,
while
Linking Words
 some argue that the job market is too competitive not to get a degree immediately. Personally, I strongly advocate the latter.
Although
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay aims to explore the benefits and drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. One notable benefit is the unparalleled convenience it offers various aspects of self-discovery.
For example
Linking Words
, psychologist Martin Johnson found that a person cannot truly understand which career path to choose at the age of 18, as the mental brain is not fully developed at
this
Linking Words
 stage.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is vital to learn adequate life skills, interpersonal desires, and self-interests before deciding on a career path; all
which
Change preposition
of which
show examples
 can be obtained from travelling or working for a
year
Use synonyms
 after high school.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is essential to acknowledge that
this
Linking Words
 trend could be beneficial. Despite
this
Linking Words
, I believe it is paramount to get the upper hand in modern society's competitive workforce.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study at Harvard University found that only 55% of people actually
decides
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
 to enrol at a university after a gap
year
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, individuals who
decides
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
 to postpone enrolments can often find themselves in a conundrum after a
year
Use synonyms
 when alternative options might have opened up in the meantime.
Hence
Linking Words
, taking a
year
Use synonyms
 off after school requires self-control and might result in unemployment when older. In conclusion, it is evident that taking a
year
Use synonyms
 to learn about yourself is advantageous,
however
Linking Words
, I believe it is imperative to start focusing on a career path as soon as possible to ensure job security in the future. If more students decide to get a degree later in life,
then
Linking Words
 they might find themselves in a situation where they never actually get a degree or proper job in the foreseeable future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the premise of the essay, clearly outlining the discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year. To improve, consider presenting a more balanced view in the introduction, indicating that you will explore both sides equally.
Use of Evidence
It's commendable that you included evidence to support your points, such as the study by Harvard University. To further enhance your essay, try to include more varied and detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
Conclusion
You have effectively concluded your essay by summarizing the key points and stating your opinion. To make your conclusion even stronger, consider reinforcing it with a succinct summary of the advantages versus the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, with clear paragraphs and logical progression of ideas. To achieve even higher, work on linking your ideas more seamlessly, using a wider range of linking words and phrases.
Task Response
While you did address the task of discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a gap year, the balance slightly favors disadvantages in your argumentation. Strive for a more balanced discussion to fully meet the task requirements.
Introduction
Introduction effectively sets the premise of the essay.
Body Paragraphs
Use of evidence to support points.
Conclusion
Good use of conclusion to summarize and state opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphs and logical progression of ideas.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: