IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many parents believe that children should read strict educational books and not any other entertainment books as it is were of time. Do you agree or disagree.

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In today's fast-paced world, individuals hold diverse opinions on various topics. Some guardians believe that peers should only read educational
books
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 and other
entertainment
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books
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 should be banned strictly as they are a waste of their precious
time
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, opinions are divided, with few supporting it
while
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 others oppose it. I wholeheartedly agree with the latter viewpoint because
entertainment
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 helps students to relax their minds and to explore more career paths.
To begin
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 with, the most prominent reason to support the second view is that
entertainment
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 magazines assist the children to relax for some
time
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due to
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 the huge levels of competition in school peers are extremely stressed with school notes.
Therefore
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, whenever they have some spare
time
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 they can read these
books
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 and get some relaxation from their stressful lifestyle.
For instance
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, as per the survey conducted by the Indian government in 2021, tutees who have some
entertainment
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books
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 were mentally more healthy and active, in comparison to the juveniles who like reading only educational
books
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. Needless to say, why many people believe that how
entertainment
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books
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 play a vital role in school children's lives. Moving
further
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 with another pivotal extrapolate, the minds of all the kids are not equally creative because some might not be brilliant in subjects like Science, Maths but they may inherit other creativity skills
such
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 as writing comic
books
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, singing, or crafts. If children spend a part of their precious
time
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 in the field they are interested in, may assist them to find an easy trajectory for their bright
future
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.
For example
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, reading a fashion magazine is helpful for a child who wants to hone his skills for becoming a fashion designer in
future
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.
Thus
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, these
books
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 can help them in the early
future
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 to be a step ahead toward their goal.
To conclude
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, the debate surrounding the view that only educational
books
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 should be rendered to tutees for study and there should be a ban on
entertainment
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books
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 for their bright
future
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 is multifaceted.
However
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, I agree that
entertainment
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 subjects should be allowed in students' lives because it will not only help them to be healthy, but it will
also
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 encourage them to have better career paths as per their interests.

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task response
Make sure that your essay addresses the prompt fully. You should clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement from the outset, and maintain this stance throughout your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas logically, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and follows logically from the one before it. Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas across and within paragraphs.
task response
Provide specific examples to support your points. These examples should be relevant and strengthen your argument. Consider drawing on personal experiences, historical events, or widely recognized facts to add depth to your essay.
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