IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the cost of adult education should be shared.

The chart below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the cost of adult education should be shared.
The chart illustrates the result of
survey
Add an article
a survey
the survey
show examples
 of adult education .The bar graph explains the reasons why
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 decide to
study
Use synonyms
 .The pie chart shows the cost of each course. On the one hand,
according to
Linking Words
 the bar graph , the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
adults
Use synonyms
 decide to
study
Use synonyms
 because they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
like to learn subjects.The
percentage
Use synonyms
 is 40%.The 9
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of
adults
Use synonyms
 decide to
study
Use synonyms
 .Because they want to meet their friends .
The
Correct article usage
An
show examples
 equal
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 learn
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 improve prospects of promotion and
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
 learning .The
percentage
Use synonyms
 is 20% each.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
according to
Linking Words
 the pie
chat
Correct your spelling
chart
show examples
, the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 is spent on individual
adults
Use synonyms
 .The
percentage
Use synonyms
 is 40%.
Taxpayer
Add an article
The taxpayer
A taxpayer
show examples
 is spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
25% and 35%
spent
Add a missing verb
are spent
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
emplyer
Correct your spelling
employed
adults
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
adults
Use synonyms
 decide to
study
Use synonyms
 because they
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
 in
subject
Add an article
the subject
show examples
 and the minimum of
adults
Use synonyms
 decide to learn because meet their friends .
Accordingly
Linking Words
 ,individual
adults
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
40% cost and taxpayer
adults
Use synonyms
 spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
25%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words study, percentage, adults with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: