IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people' salaries to pay for public services such as roads and schools. Other thinks high taxes are bad. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #governments #proportion #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 claim that authorities should invest
citizen’s
Change preposition
in citizen’s
show examples
taxes
Use synonyms
 and pay for public utilities, but others believe that high
taxes
Use synonyms
 will not benefit them. I believe that investing in public services
such
Linking Words
 as roads and schools is essential, but introducing high
taxes
Use synonyms
 can lead to a decrease in the quality of
life
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. First of all,
taxes
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 play a huge role in the prosperity of each country, allowing many important amenities to be built or maintained. In
this
Linking Words
 way, governments dispose of necessary budget in order to
assure
Verb problem
ensure
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 health insurance, good roads, good public schools, kindergarten, and many other necessities that a modern and developed society needs.
For example
Linking Words
, places like the UAE are well-known for
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 low tax
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
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, which
attracted
Wrong verb form
attract
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 many investors, but at the same time, citizens should pay for medical services which are not cheap.
That is
Linking Words
 why properly allocated
taxes
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 immensely benefit
people
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 require medical assistance.
Secondly
Linking Words
, high
taxes
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 could be a burden for
Correct article usage
the working
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working
Correct article usage
the working
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 class who are trying to survive
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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inflation. If the government
will decide
Wrong verb form
decides
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 to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
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 public
taxes
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,
people
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 who are less privileged will, eventually, have a lower amount of disposable money.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to a lower quality of
life
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, considering that the majority of
people
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 will not afford a comfortable
life
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, a vast majority of
tax payers
Correct your spelling
taxpayers
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 who are living in European countries are already giving more than 40% of their earnings.
Thus
Linking Words
, they feel frustrated and they struggle with a low income.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe that
taxes
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 may benefit the majority of
people
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,
however
Linking Words
, setting a very high tax may contribute to an inferior standard of
life
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 for the less
well off
Add a hyphen
well-off
show examples
.
Submitted by tomavaleria42 on

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task achievement
Ensure that both views are equally discussed in balanced depth to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with grammar and coherence between sentences to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Strong examples provided, such as referencing the UAE and European tax payers, which clearly illustrate the points.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of transitions to guide the reader through the argument.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion that encapsulates the main ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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