IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people' salaries to pay for public services such as roads and schools. Other thinks high taxes are bad. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #governments #proportion #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
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Some
people
 claim that authorities should invest
citizen’s
Change preposition
in citizen’s
show examples
taxes
 and pay for public utilities, but others believe that high
taxes
 will not benefit them. I believe that investing in public services
such
 as roads and schools is essential, but introducing high
taxes
 can lead to a decrease in the quality of
life
. First of all,
taxes
 play a huge role in the prosperity of each country, allowing many important amenities to be built or maintained. In
this
 way, governments dispose of necessary budget in order to
assure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
 health insurance, good roads, good public schools, kindergarten, and many other necessities that a modern and developed society needs.
For example
, places like the UAE are well-known for
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 low tax
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
, which
attracted
Wrong verb form
attract
show examples
 many investors, but at the same time, citizens should pay for medical services which are not cheap.
That is
 why properly allocated
taxes
 immensely benefit
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 require medical assistance.
Secondly
, high
taxes
 could be a burden for
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 class who are trying to survive
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inflation. If the government
will decide
Wrong verb form
decides
show examples
 to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 public
taxes
,
people
 who are less privileged will, eventually, have a lower amount of disposable money.
This
 will lead to a lower quality of
life
, considering that the majority of
people
 will not afford a comfortable
life
.
For instance
, a vast majority of
tax payers
Correct your spelling
taxpayers
show examples
 who are living in European countries are already giving more than 40% of their earnings.
Thus
, they feel frustrated and they struggle with a low income.
To conclude
, I believe that
taxes
 may benefit the majority of
people
,
however
, setting a very high tax may contribute to an inferior standard of
life
 for the less
well off
Add a hyphen
well-off
show examples
.
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task achievement
Ensure that both views are equally discussed in balanced depth to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with grammar and coherence between sentences to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Strong examples provided, such as referencing the UAE and European tax payers, which clearly illustrate the points.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of transitions to guide the reader through the argument.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion that encapsulates the main ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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