children can be adversely affected by the influence of television. to what extend to you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.

#children #influence #television

With urbanization and alteration in the old style of families,

television

has become the main entertaining device for

children

. Some believe that

children

have affected negatively by watching

television

programs

. I completely agree with

this

statement because of some

health

-related issues which affect their physiological and psychological

health

, and I will pinpoint them in the following paragraphs: The first and perhaps the most important reason for supporting

this

idea is the negative consequence of watching some

television

programs

children

's mental

health

. To illustrate, the child is exposed to some inappropriate movies and series which encourage violent behaviours.

For instance

, it is proved that watching some adult

programs

in the UK by adolescents can lead to an increase in some psychological disorders

such

as depression, anxiety, and violence.

Thus

, in my opinion,

such

programs

can influence our new generation's mental

health

adversely.

In addition

, watching

television

shows excessively can lead to some diseases

such

as obesity and diabetes. Over recent years, the physical activity of offspring has declined considerably and

as a result

, we witness more

health

disorders in

children

For instance

, in the US, the number of

children

suffering from obesity has had an upward trend which in the long run can trigger some chronic diseases

such

as hypertension and cardiac disease.

Therefore

, watching

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

can threaten

children

's well-being.

To sum up

, owing to the mentioned reasons, I totally agree with the negative effects of TV on

children

Change preposition

apply

show examples

affecting their minds and bodies.

Consequently

, it is a shared responsibility among families, schools, and the government to restrict adverse influences of

this

medium.

Submitted by m.jalili1993 on Thu Aug 17 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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it is working in a team is better than working alone.

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to takle the issue?

Many countries have compulsory military service for men after they leave school. It would be a good idea to adopt this system, for men and possibly women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Social media has become a real problem for some young people today, and governments should create laws that allow only people over 18 years of age to have accounts. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.ج