Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

#people #success #measure #intelligence

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Nowadays

people

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

judge your

intelligence

by the amount of

success

in your life. In my opinion,

this

Correct article usage

the

show examples

wrong way to define intellectual ability because that depends on who someone wants to be and how they want to be recognized by

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

Firstly

, not

everyone

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

wants to become

successful

Correct article usage

a successful

show examples

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

. It is very hard to keep your place in

first

Change the article

the first

show examples

league and that’s because many ignorant

people

tries

Change the verb form

try

show examples

to keep you out of

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

members.

Intelligence

people

are understanding

Wrong verb form

understand

show examples

that their role does not play a big importance and

they’re

Unnecessary verb

they

show examples

usually

stays

Correct subject-verb agreement

stay

show examples

in the dark.

For example

, Emily Dickinson, who was a very intellectual person, but not because of

success

, after her death

she

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

becomes

Wrong verb form

became

show examples

one of the greatest

writer

Change to a plural noun

writers

show examples

of her

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

Secondly

, a big part of

contemporary

Add an article

the contemporary

show examples

world

are

Change the verb form

show examples

jealous

Change preposition

show examples

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

success

and not

everyone

wants to be bad or unjust

for

Change preposition

show examples

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they can think that they become successful with

help

Add an article

the help

show examples

and not by their

intelligence

. If

everyone

who is smart, will be lucky enough to play a big part in the world, and not just to be rich, but

also

to be respected by all m, other stupid

people

will make

Remove the article

apply

show examples

big trouble and that will lead to war or maybe protests.

For

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

Marie Cuire

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

was

judge

Wrong verb form

judged

show examples

for her

intelligence

due to

gender bases.

People

were making

troubles

Fix the agreement mistake

trouble

show examples

and saying that your husband was the science. In conclusion,

intelligence

is not

determinate

Replace the word

determined

show examples

success

, but

Change preposition

show examples

the

decision end

Correct your spelling

decision-making

show examples

courage that

people

support. I think that

everyone

is clever in different

way

Fix the agreement mistake

ways

show examples

and it’s not our right to decide that.

Submitted by acaitaz on Thu Aug 17 2023

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grammar

Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to make your arguments clearer. Some sentences are difficult to follow due to grammatical errors.

cohesion

Provide clearer links between your points, ensuring each paragraph has a logical connection with the next. This will improve the overall flow of your essay.

support

Consider expanding on your examples and explaining how exactly they support your argument. This will strengthen your essay’s persuasiveness.

task response

The essay discusses other ways intelligence can be valued, not just through success, fitting well with the prompt.

structure

The essay opens with a clear introduction and closes with a conclusion that summarizes the main points.

examples

Strong use of historical examples like Emily Dickinson and Marie Curie to illustrate points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

In many countries people can go to a supermarket and buy products

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university in order to travel or to work do you think advantags outweigh vote disadvantages

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.