Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

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In
this
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day and age,
people
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have the tendency to think that their
intelligence
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is directly proportional to their achievements.
However
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, I believe that there are multiple ways to detect whether a person is smart or not. In
this
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essay I am going to explain how there are multiple types of
intelligence
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and
also
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how
success
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is measured differently in various circumstances.
Firstly
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,
intelligence
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is not necessarily related to a person’s ability to absorb information.
Moreover
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, different
people
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have diverse ways in which their brain is wired
such
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as: emotional
intelligence
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, academic
intelligence
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and what many call street-smart.
Therefore
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, these are all different approaches to how the topic can be debated and they
also
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prove that everybody’s brain is wired differently.
For example
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, Daniel Goleman, the author of the notorious book “Emotional
Intelligence
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”, explained the philosophy behind human interactions and how it shapes the way we interpret the world.
This
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form of
intelligence
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helps
people
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to build a stronger social life, but does not promise
success
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in its prime form: finances or status, yet it remains a highly important skill to have.
Secondly
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, a lot of
people
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view
success
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differently: for some it is power, for others it means fame, glory, money or credentials.
This
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is why it would be very complicated to actually measure it or to try and place every existing person on the same scale.
In addition
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to that, different life opportunities result in different outcomes and some simply do not get the chance to discover their maximum potential, as many
people
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did not have the possibility to pursue their dreams. As for an example from my personal life, I have met several teachers from the Science and Engineering faculty of Maastricht University that participated into amazing projects,
such
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as genetically modifying microorganisms from the ocean to eat plastic, and yet they do not have a significant income and are not as known throughout the world.
This
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is because
success
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comes in different ways and shapes. Whilst I can state that to me their careers are very successful, others might believe that
success
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can only be measured through a large paycheck. So,
intelligence
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and
success
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are both very subjective and very versatile.
This
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is why it is very important to keep an open mind and try to understand that every brain is wired differently and
therefore
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, has different capacities.

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task response
For task response, your view is clear, but you can explain it more directly in each main part.
task response
Add one more short idea about why some smart people do not become successful.
task response
Your examples are good, but one example can be shorter and more focused.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow, but some long sentences may confuse the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some links are repeated or not fully natural.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph start with one very clear main point, then support it step by step.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
You give relevant examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a logical order.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • measure
  • intelligence
  • success
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • adaptability
  • emotional intelligence
  • creativity
  • practical skills
  • standardized testing
  • academic performance
  • capabilities
  • potential
  • privilege
  • correlate
  • hard work
What to do next:
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