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Band 7

Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation.  To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#cooperation #disagree？
The debate over whether international
cooperation
 is an effective means of solving urgent
problems
 has been long-standing.
While
 some argue that global forces are the only solution to a wide range of challenges, I would contend that it depends on the issue at hand. As
this
 urgent
problem
 is relevant to the
country
 itself,solving
this
problem
 through domestic
cooperation
 is a better choice.As we know,some bad social phenomena are caused by domestic
problems
.In
this
 situation,internal people prefer to solve these
problems
 by themselves.
For instance
,if a
country
's rate of crime keeps increasing in recent years,domestic people will require the government to make some crucial laws in relevant areas.When the government
asked
Wrong verb form
asks
show examples
 for international help,
such
 as in some violent ways,people may be unsatisfied with the government.
However
,as the urgent
problem
 is relevant to the international
country
,it can be solved well with international
cooperation
.Because of the complexity of the
problem
,a good solution of it usually involves several countries.In some countries,the
problems
 of drugs are really serious,leading to many social crimes,but it is difficult for the
country
 itself to protect its citizens from being hurt.The drug may be produced in another
country
,and domestic law is useless for the producer.At that time,if these countries can make some international
cooperation
,the source of the drug will be destroyed. In conclusion, I believe that the need for international
cooperation
 to solve urgent
problems
 depends on the specifics of the issue.In some cases,
such
 as drugs, international
cooperation
 is the only way to solve
problems
.
However
, in other cases,
such
 as the rate of crime, local efforts can be more effective.
Submitted by 2016792106 on

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task response
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive understanding of the topic, addressing both sides of the argument. The examples are relevant and support the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-maintained, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, more explicit linking devices and signposting language could be used to improve coherence and cohesion further.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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